Date:   6/20/2008 8:59:59 PM ( 16 y ago)
Hits:   604
URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=1199215

I'm responsible for at least 5 or 6 of the hits on this message...pretty intense stuff, Dearie:)
Don't know what to say except that you are not alone in your journey. and, it must have felt really good to write that!
And, "crazy" people are some of my favorite people. hmmmmm, what else?
I wrote a letter like that to my mom once. Not as detailed, or as long, or as angry. I never felt it necessary to cut her out of my life, although actually I guess I did...When I left home at 19(moved to Chicago, for school), 'twas my vow to NEVER go back. And I never did(cept to visit, of course).

And I really feel as though I only understood her, as a person, separate from our relationship as mother & daughter, until the last few years before her death.

And I learned a lot about her after she died, that's when the old relatives really got to yacking. And I found out that she had it worse than any of her children ever knew, she took a lot of hard knocks in short order. Death of mother, death of father, sole heir to quite a bit of $, my dad helped her burn through it and then left her with four children to take care of...

Anyway, did my mom do the best things for her children, always? No, but she did the best she could with what she had, her support system dropped away very quickly. She had gone from her father's house to her husband's house and she was really rather ill-equipped to deal with the big mean world. She did the best that she could, she made some mistakes, some mistakes that were life-altering for her children for sure.

I don't know what my point is here, just that I hope that you are able to resolve this to your satisfaction. Perhaps that letter IS your resolution, I don't know, I don't live your life.

I'll never forget a conversation that I had, years ago, in Chicago, with a Jamaican. I was telling him about family stuff, and in his Island patois he sez "hey mon...watchoo complainin' 'bout? You got 2 eyes, 2 legs, you are healthy and beautiful and smart. Shee-it, sister, you got no idea what hard times is..."

That was a huge lesson for me.

Even though everything was not ideal in my upbringing, even though I wished that things were different, I had the TOOLS necessary to manifest the life that I desired. There are a lot of people that are not blessed in that way.

I'm thinking of you:)




*edit* re-reading my message, it sounds as though I am making light of what you have been through, I am not. I guess that the only way that I can relate is to share a bit of my story...

I guess I just wish that I could say do this, this, this and this and it'll be all better....how can I do that?
 

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