Date:   6/12/2008 10:51:57 PM ( 17 y ago)
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URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=1193601

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yep. My dog is not at all fond of unpredictable loud noises, like, thunder, like, fireworks. He's a dog, likely he does not know how to discern the difference, it's all loud noises to him. He's adopted, going on 7 years now. There is some irony; two months after 911 I adopted an 80 pound American Bulldog. HA HA. It took me a while to learn his quirks. One day I came home from work and found the bed / mattress shredded, literally, like confetti. Do you have any idea how difficult it is to shred a mattress? I tried it by hand and barely made a wrinkle. For the life of me I could not come up with a reason why dog had done this. So, for several nights, I made him sleep on the torn up side of the mattress. There was still a hunk undisturbed. I slept on that. Then one day when I was home we had a pretty good thunder storm. This was the first time I had a chance to observe dog under these conditions. He sort of goes berserk. So I went to work on trying to calm that situation down a bit. I had to adjust my habits a bit. It used to be that when I headed off to work for the day, dog got the run of the house. Then I adapted and began to check the weather forecast, which is kinda like throwing darts to begin with, but if there is a hint of thunderstorm on the map, I pen the dog into the kitchen, unplug all appliances from electrical outlets and remove everything loose or not tied down. A few months later I came home just as a freak (unexpected "not forecasted") thunderstorm had finished. As I pulled in the drive way, dog was saying hello to me from the bedroom window "woof woof". At that moment I realized "oh no, I didn't pen him in the kitchen. I got inside to discover that previously undisturbed hunk of mattress lying in a hundred pieces of confetti scattered all over the bedroom. Time for plan B: I flipped the mattress over to the unused side ... the fresh side. Life went on. The following summer I came home one evening to find the mattress in shreds again...yes, the good side...gone, in bunches of pieces of confetti. I was almost certain there had been no rain, not even a hint of thunder. I went next door to ask the neighbor. He confirmed -no rain. He asked me why I was asking. I explained. He re-iterated - no rain, "but we did have a local neighborhood fireworks display"...... hmmmm, I thought, perhaps time for plan C. Plan C began with the purchase of a brand new mattress ... the low end of Serta's line of "perfect sleeper" series....set me back about $350. Anyway, a few weeks went by and I was visiting family. I took the dog.... just in case. This was the weekend before July 4. That night the entire bleepin neighborhood in a radius of about 5 miles was lit up with backyard fireworks. Dog was in the process of going berserk. Fortunately I was there to help calm him down enough to avoid him tearing up my sisters home.

This is a long way of saying that dog is not at all a fan of fireworks. He's a dog. It's not likely he understand the difference between thunder, fireworks or Harley Davidsons. That was plan D: one day he took after the fat dude bald on top but with stringy hair down to his butt. Fat dude was riding his noise on wheels past our house. HD has noise on wheels that exceeds the threshold of pain and permanent damage down to a fine science. They have their marketing campaign down to a similar science. Come spring time, this area has more dudes riding noise on wheels than you can easily shake a stick at. Anyway, it was fortunate for all concerned that I caught dog before he caught the fat dude riding his noise on wheels past our house. It is unfortunate for dog that three years ago he and I moved into a new house located 3 blocks from the home field of a local double-A (minor leagues of professional baseball) baseball team. The season usually runs 80 games, 40 at home, 40 away. Guess what I soon discovered has been a trend in minor league baseball for years? Yes, that's right, approximately 20 of those 40 home games per season are concluded with "fireworks night" .... for the children, you see?... its all for the children. Often times I can work around the scheduled fireworks nights...sounds silly, I know, that I routinely take the time to put dog and I in car so drive around a while killing time and burning gas for a half hour so just to ride out these blasted fireworks from out of range ... but some nights the bastards at the ballpark sneak in a secret special surprise bonus fireworks night not previously scheduled... for the children, of course..... and it's not practical for me to take dog with me every time I leave the house at night to visit with family / friends.

For a 5 year period or so during the 90's, I had become a fireworks fool myself, so I am able to maintain some understanding of the situation. I was a literal pyro-maniac, blowing $300 to $400 bucks per year ... literally burning hard earned cash....and this went on about 5 years. The really bizarre thing is, in Pennsylvania, it is illegal to own any kind of fireworks designed to leave the ground. However, there is a retail outlet of a corporation known as Phantom, located in Pennsylvania, near the southern border ... a stone's throw away from Maryland. It is illegal for Pennsylvania residents to buy fireworks there. Pennsylvanians must go to some other state, like, Ohio. Phantom also has an outlet in Ohio where it is a stone's throw away from the western Pennsylvania border. The outlet in Ohio is a 8 hour car ride round trip. The outlet in Pennsylvania is 1.5 hours round trip..... what gas shortage? It is legal for Pennsylvanians to buy fireworks in Ohio... there is a form "law" to fill out, and it casually asks "where do you intend to transport these fireworks?", but this is all so much racketeering intended to make bad laws appear good. It is legal for residents of any other state in the Union to buy fireworks in Pennsylvania, and there is reciprocal arrangements (more laws) in many other states. Anyway, there was a series of happen chance events - accidents, with fireworks, some I was involved with, some I was not involved with. One night my car almost caught on fire because my drunk buddy thought it a good idea to put off a $30 sky rocket by holding it between his feet ... and he did not aim so well ... and it bounced off my rear windshield, having nearly landed inside the open trunk where I was loosely watching guard over my trunk full of fireworks to put off. Between that incident, and the one where my brother in-law lost the better part of his right hand due to the quarter stick with the hair-trigger fuse ... the quarter stick ( slang for 1/4 stick of dynamite) went off while brother in-law was still in the act of winding up to toss it.... between those two events, my enthusiasm for fireworks waned in a hurry and has pretty much stayed that way ever since.

 

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