Date:   6/11/2008 9:55:09 AM ( 16 y ago)
Hits:   4,605
URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=1192279

I'm a female, and happily married to a man i've know since were were 14. we've been married for roughly one year and 7 months, and he is in the army branch of the military, active duty. i understand it is a difficult profession and causes unwanted grief for both parties, the wife/husband and the soldier. when he is home, i barely see him and often he retreats into video games, though we are both lovers of pc and video games, so this is understandable. I'm confused and often put off, however, by the fact that he barely says anything to me, or often gets lost in video games and i'm too afraid to anger him and don't know how to gently ask him for some 'us' time. even if it's 10 minutes. perhaps i've a tendency to be over affectionate, and perhaps it was due to my feelings of being 'idly neglected' in terms of my own standards of how affection should be. none of the attention i'm seeking is sexual though. i want to spend time with him, perhaps playing a game together. i bought board games recently, thinking he may play with me, but when he called me while i was at the store and i told him what i was purchasing he sounded a bit put off and told me " i'm not playing those with you, you know." now i may be making this a bigger deal than it has to be, but it's extremely upsetting that he's not adamant about spending time with me when he's home and not deployed. for what i gather from our discussions on this topic, he feels that just being in the same house is spending time with me. though he's satisfied with just being home, i am not. i always feel horrible for seeking more than just being in the same room together, i feel as if i'm being irrational and this upsets me more. am i being irrational, or is seeking 10 minutes a day together wrong? i'm a very affectionate person, and i enjoy cuddling a lot, and restraining myself has been more and more difficult. he considers himself ' not much of a talker' and i feel the same way about myself, but i have been brooding over this so much that i begin to question myself. 'did i make the right decision?' and ' would i have been better off single and seeking a female for a partner instead' ( since i am equally open to this idea of same sex relationships). i don't want my marriage to be a mistake, i honestly don't believe it is. i love my husband VERY much, but.. it's times like these where i'm beginning to 'see the gray area on the horizon'. i want to know... how do i put up with myself and how may i ease him into understanding how i feel? i am hoping i'm not being young and foolish. please help me, or if you can offer any advise, it would be greatly appreciated. thank you.
 

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