Date:   6/9/2008 10:49:09 PM ( 16 y ago)
Hits:   2,900
URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=1191327

Born December 1903

Died June 2008

Five brothers; four sisters; two daughters; three sons; fourteen grandchildren; twenty two great grandchildren; twenty great great grandchildren; one great great great grandchild. 

That is the obituary for my paternal grandmother. This is my first post in this forum. After the fact, I'm thinking that this message may not be appropriate ...or at least, not the typical kind of "from the dead" message found in this forum. I only say this just in case this forum is more geared towards other types of messages from the dead... like channeling....seances or the like that involves attempts to actively communicate with the dead. This is nothing like that... at least, I don't think it is. However, there is a possible exception to this. Anyway, this message is clearly one with Christian undertones, so my apologies ahead of time if this message is too far off topic from what this forum is for.

The message was read today during funeral services. Unbeknown to me, this message had been prepared several years ago during a time when grandmother was, undoubtedly, still able to think clearly, as well as clearly put down her thoughts on to paper so as to communicate them upon her death. As far as 104 year old people go, right up to the end grandmother's physical health was about as good as one could hope for... still had all of her limbs and major organs...she had her eyesight and hearing and other primary senses still working. In the mid-1980's she had been put into an old folk's home located not more than a 1/2 mile from the small rural town where she'd lived the latter half of her life. As far as what passes for standards in old folk's home these days, the one that housed her these many years had given her exceptionally good treatment and care..... a blessing, that, one that is not so easy for folks to find these days and therefore one not to be taken for granted. If there is a big scorecard  in the sky that is somewhere along the lines, loosely, of people's ideas of karma, grandmother earned it (the good care received). However, mentally, she was not there and had not been from my observations for about fifteen years or so. She had not become senile ... didn't go batty nor Alzheimer's nor anything like that. Instead, mentally, she just sort of slowly faded away over the last twenty years, gradually losing her ability to remember people and growing less talkative. This effect became more pronounced about ten years ago when the her second oldest son died of cancer. Grandmother outlived her oldest daughter by, roughly, 60 years, her husband by 32 years, and her oldest son by 15 years. For the last ten years or so, her days increasingly consisted mainly of sleeping, being fed, napping, and whenever possible, being wheeled over the the church side of the home where service is held twice a Sunday and Wednesday. She was without a doubt the most devout person I have ever known.

There is one aspect of a person who dies at the age of 104 that occurred to me today; they've outlived most if not all of the people and friends who were their peers during their younger days. In other words, outside of the younger folks from the immediate family (children, grandchildren, in-laws and such) there really is not anyone else still standing to come by and visit at the funeral home to pay respects to the 104-year old person who just died.

For the past several years, I have frequently spent time contemplating this situation with grandmother, remembering past memories, but also wondering seriously about where or what might be the intended meaning for the life of a person who is still physically alive but in many respects "not there anymore" but alive nonetheless. Twenty years ago and earlier,  when Grandmother was "still there" for anyone who may have wanted to visit with her, to talk to, to have substantive conversations with if that was on their mind, she was still there, but, life then was on a much different track then.  I was living hundreds of miles away, living in my own workaday world, and not taking as much advantage as I could have to stop by to see grandmother during short visits home, holidays, vacations and such. I now regret that. In fact, it's been during the past three years specifically that, ongoing, I've been regretting that lost opportunity. Three years ago I made a major move - physically speaking, to move back close to the home and family of my childhood.... but by that time grandmother had already passed on, so to speak. These are many of the same kinds of thoughts running through my mind this morning during funeral service.... can't remember the last time I stepped foot in a funeral home to attend a service ...been several years.... almost as long since the last time I stepped foot in a church to attend service.

Grandmother was probably the most devout Christian I have ever known personally. The main funeral service was given by the woman who was the pastor at the church of the home where grandmother stayed the past 20 years. It ran about twenty five minutes. It began with the pastor telling us that she had a message for us, specifically written for this purpose by grandmother over a period of years it seems. When she told us this at the beginning of the service, this brought back some vivid memories of when grammy would often address her concerns with me specifically ..... I was among the more ornery among her large brood; "you will reap what you sow". Pastor told us that grammy had selected several of her most favorite passages of scr*ipture to be recited for us "because she is concerned for the spirituality of the members of her family, her family that she loves dearly". Are Ye Able was the main theme. Now that it's after the fact, I cannot remember exactly when or how it happened, but as the pastor spoke I closed my eyes and was sort of meditating while she spoke grandmother's last wishes for her family. Then there was a moment, a clear moment that I clearly felt touched.... in my head ... in my heart ..... in my soul.... I got the clear distinction that one by one, the Spirit of Grandmother was giving her last good by, her last message, to each and every one of her family. This is the best I can describe what I felt. For a moment, lasting maybe all of ten seconds or so, I felt my Grandmother's love... I saw her and felt her presence inside me.... bear in mind I say that not really knowing how to articulate nor even describe exactly what "love" is, and after the fact some several hours now I'm still trying to go over this in my mind to re-live the moment, not just in seeking to enjoy that moment again, but to understand it ....whatever "it" was, I felt it,, I clearly felt her presence, like she was in my mind and I was in her mind both at the same time, for a moment.... one of those instances that, if somebody were to say "all yeah? prove it!", all I could say is, the proof is in my mind, which, while this is certainly good enough for me, there is not much I can do for you to ideally appreciate the same...... and then that moment was gone.

The pastor tells us that when she was visiting with grammy Wednesday a week ago, she asked her if she'd like to attend church that day. The response was a silent smile lighting up her face and a nod of the head in the affirmative. She took her to service, gave the service, and then took grammy back to her room, where and when she then left the physical plane.

<< Return to the standard message view

fetched in 0.02 sec, referred by http://www.curezone.org/forums/fmp.asp?i=1191327