Date:   6/2/2008 3:10:23 AM ( 17 y ago)
Hits:   1,554
URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=1185899

Hi Gilda
Thank you for your response.
I did think about your message and I agree that I'm not getting from the relationship what it is I need and want. Though nor is my partner in all fairness. I am partly to blame I know due to the lack of intimacy. After the birth of my son, at first I thought it was because I was tired and breastfeeding (breastfeed for a year) but after he was weaned I still didn't have the normal "urges" you'd expect from a person of my age to have. I had also torn during labour and due to some er umm different sewing techniques by my midwife the area is still tender even now if pushed against. Sorry TMI! But I felt I did need to explain that side of it. Though otherwise I am In my opinion pretty normal. I do all the other domestic duties normally expected of one plus work two jobs.
I have thought if my sexual function was normal all this would go away but now I think maybe not.
I'm sorry for the ramble... I am feeling somewhat creatively stifled and I think it has changed how I am, though Its not the way I envisioned myself being and it makes me sad.
I did try some positive affirmations and deep breathing this morning and felt a lot calmer today though the day was filled with an inner argument with myself on what the best move would be for me and my son. I'm still not sure if my expectations are too high?? Is it wrong to want more for your life? I always feel like I'm waiting for my turn. I had always hoped to do some kind of study in nutrition or natural medicine but there's never time or money for that kind of thing. (sorry getting off subject)
I know my partner will be a good daddy to our son, he has stepped up more somewhat the last few days. Maybe he has picked up on something?. I also think he may even spend more quality time with our son if we shared custody, might help him realise that moments are precious.
Sorry again for the extra long post. It does help to get a lot of it out of my head though.
Thanks all...
 

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