Certainly, I feel like I made an agreement to
be alive during these times and to be part of
a continuing effort to raise the level of
consciousness through intention which will
eventually bring us into resonance with the
vibration of love and our Creator. Like children
who wish to be a part of a family and yet to
explore on their own, we are learning what it
feels like to "play in the dark".
I will share some of what I have been feeling the
past couple of weeks as an example and perhaps it
may help you understand more how I can be positive.
I learned a major lesson when I was doing
extended fasting. I am very sensitive but did
not realize the extent to which this aspect of
my being affected me until Hurricane Katrina hit
and I was in the middle of a fast. I could not
eat to numb my feelings and it was a long fast
and so it would take at least a week to go through
breaking the fast. I could psychically "hear" people
drowning and screaming in fear as they raged in the
darkness and the water and the crying and suffering.
It wiped me out emotionally as I had no way at hand
to turn down the volume. It was then that I recognized
one of my main ways of "using" food. The lesson then for
me though, was to pray and in that way "help" people to
let go, and of course in another way, they helped
facilitate a major healing through that event
that continues today to have positive repercussions.
With the current events of the Typhoon in Myanmar
and the earthquake in China, likewise, I have been
picking up on the suffering and working to channel
that awareness into a healing response and also one
of my own self-awareness of how better to find my
capacity to nurture compassion through their suffering.
I feel I am beginning to understand more and so even
with the pain I am feeling psychically, I am much better
about putting it into a perspective which I resonate
strongly with...
These people had agreements too and so some die and
are released. Others survive and must bring to bear
witness to others, important lessons. One major lesson
for China was to reach out for help. Hundreds of thousands,
especially the children had come in to specifically
facilitate that lesson for China...not an easy one for
people to own but that is how it is playing out on some
level.
In Myanmar, the Junta is still resisting the light and so
more will suffer and die in hopes that the lesson of compassion
of the rulers for the ruled will come to pass. It may not be
this event but eventually...it will happen. Still, my own
feelings of love and compassion are so poignant in my moments
of breath and I am able to be in gratitude for every child
crying, every mother in death leaving her children, a father
clinging to life and facing despair, millions in both events
homeless. These humans and their experience put a lot into
perspective for me...and I am learning much from what they
are enabling me to feel and think.
Yesterday I was reading about how 200 rescuers in China have
been buried in landslides. It cannot be "heartbreaking" for me
since that is not the message I need to be clinging to when
these feelings surface. My choice is to amp up my own light
and light the way psychically with love as a vibratory reality
that is the "way" Christ described as well.
I think I am beginning to understand more and see how in
events in the past, and current events like the Iraq war,
people have agreements which are all part of the lessons
that it takes to inspire the language of love on a global
or even universal scale.
I saw recently a photo of an American soldier clinging to
a child. The child was either dead or seriously injured
and he had the child pressed against his heart and his head
was buried in that intimate space of almost face to face.
You could feel his anguish. I could sense his emotion he was
expressing which in that moment was one of his understanding
that this child's suffering was teaching him that what he was
doing was not going to solve the problem. Christ came to teach
us to love one another. Such a simple commandment and yet so
difficult and one which running from has made this planet at
times resemble hell on earth.
Still, one of my own self-admonitions or agreements is to
never never never give up. Especially ever since I had a
significant near death experience and know, without doubt,
that the common language of us all is love. Perhaps it will
be the children...a child, a thousand children, who when first
they suck in their first breath, plant the seeds of love in
our hearts. So, we need to make new agreements with ourselves
to help, to heal, to hold onto the sounds, the sights, the
memories of love we have felt and shared and lived and to
leave that as our legacy. It may not happen in my lifetime,
but a lifetime is a short thing. Even 200 years is a mere
blink in the cosmic reality of age and the unfolding of the
dreams of God.
It will take courage and ENcouragement by those of us who
know without any doubt that, eventually, in order to embrace
the light, we have to expand the love vibration. There is no
wasted energy though so all the intent...something as simple
as my lighting my prayer candle and when I see it, remembering
to pray for and support those on the front line of inspiring
compassion, can be very healing, and loving.
Energy follows the intention so never underestimate the power
of prayer and a single person (you) to make a difference.
From another point of view, too, I can even look at Hitler
and understand that he inspired as much love as he did hate.
The love came in response to what Hitler did. In my own history
which involved Hitler, men under his command lined up as many
of my father's mother's family as they could find and shot them
all, for being Slovenians. My grandmother watched from where
she was hidden but was able to later escape.
It was she, a shining star in my life, who told me that she
did not live to hate Hitler, she lived to survive and to become
who she had become. She married and my father was her first born,
and I was her first grand-daughter. Her love for her family and
life made all the sacrifice and pain of getting to the moment
of embracing life and loving me and being loved by her family
worth whatever she had gone through.
There are a million things I remember about my Grandmother who
also I see whenever I look into my own eyes. There is a spark of
light left there that reminds me of her and her love she gave
me. She would hug me and tell me she loved me and NEVER ever
did a angry word cross her lips for me. There was only love.
It was a choice. Even when she spoke of the war she did so as
if she were merely telling a story. It was if she had decided not
to poison what was good about her life with hatred and the
constant reminding herself of pain and her own loss. What she
seemed to focus on was where it took her...to a place in her life
where she found love and family and a faith in miracles. She passed
this on to me.
I believe in miracles....
I believe in doing your best.
One other thing which I would credit with influencing my attitude
was a print that hung in my room growing up along side a print of
a Guardian Angel. It was the prayer of St. Francis~~
Lord, make me an instrument of Your peace.
Where there is hatred let me sow love,
Where there is injury let me sow pardon,
Where there is doubt let me sow faith,
Where there is despair let me give hope,
Where there is darkness let me give light,
Where there is sadness let me give joy.
O Divine Master, grant that
I may not try to be comforted but to comfort,
Not try to be understood but to understand,
Not try to be loved but to love.
Because it is in giving that we receive,
It is in forgiving that we are forgiven,
And it is in dying that we are born to eternal life
best wishes & blessings,
Zoe
-_-