Date:   5/16/2008 9:47:46 PM ( 17 y ago)
Hits:   3,202
URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=1174680

Hi again ATA,

I was thinking today about how upset you feel about noticing a smell on your daughter, and that it makes you feel truly devastated. 

As you know, I don’t remember many things about my past, but today a few memories of my first experiences with my son’s odor, which I had completely forgotten.  I remember that when he was around 2 to 4 years old, his little feet really smelled, and I used to play with him taking his foot up to my nose, taking a big whiff, throwing it away from my nose and screaming ‘P.U.’ to him.  He and I would both laugh hysterically, and he would bring his foot back up to my nose for me to do it again over and over.  Then I would pick up his arm, and smell under his arm, that smelled only a little, of stick my nose in his neck tickling him, and screamed 'P.U.' He would laugh so much that he could hardly catch his breath.  It became such a fun thing that his father also began to play the same game with him.

I also vaguely remembered today of instances when I noticed odor in his scalp, and how we would playfully mention it as I directed him to go take a shower.   He was so comfortable with having body odor that he was way too relaxed about his personal hygiene, as most children are.

I also remembered an episode of how later he came to me and told me that some girls in his class told him that he smelled when he was in 7th or 8th grade (at the beginning of puberty).  It was toward the end of the school year, after his physical education class in which he was doing exercise in the Miami heat.  It wasn’t so funny to him anymore, but he was able to talk about it more openly.  Without much emotional upheaval,he decided to cut his hair shorter (to decrease the odor), and began to take his personal hygiene more seriously. 

I did notice that he made a personal decision at around that time as to who were his real friends, and who were not.  He seemed more concerned about what type of people HE liked more than being concerned with who liked him.  I remember that his good friends would say remarks to him like, “bro you wreak, go take a shower”, and he would take it with a nonchalant attitude without it disturbing him greatly, and at times he would chose to shower and other times, he really didn’t care and kept doing whatever activity he was doing with his friends.  Mind you, he was a teenager already.  I actually remember once that his girlfriend was telling him to go shower already because he wouldn’t stop doing what he was doing.

Then, all of a sudden, his odor became extreme in his sophomore year of high school and lasted 8 years.  He no longer treated it lightly, and it really bothered him, but it didn’t stop him from having a great social life throughout high school and his 4 years of college.  He and his girlfriend broke up after being together for a year, but I don’t know if that was due to his odor or for other reasons.  He dated other girls on and off, but never had a long-lasting intimate relationship since.  Again, I don’t know if that was due to his odor, other reasons, or a combination of both.  However, he has maintained great close relationships and casual relationships with many friends that have lasted all these years.

Even though I had no idea when he was a child that he would develop this strong odor in his teens, I think that the games we played with his smelly little body parts helped him accept odor in general without it becoming such a huge "MONSTER’.  

If I would have suffered myself as you have with your own odor, I might not have been able to play with him about his odor the way we did.  This is yet another reason why I think that it is imperative that we all learn to accept odor not as a 'monster' that engulfs us, but rather as an issue that we need to address by changing what we can about it and accepting the inevitable.  By not letting it stop us in spite of the social obstacles it brings; if for no other reason, for the sake of our children and grandchildren.  If it is indeed hereditary, we need to show them how to cope with it.

ATA, I hope this helps you find a way to cope with your own condition, so that you can teach your daughter how to cope with hers.  It seems like an insurmountable feat, but what else can we do for our children? 

Truly wishing you the very best always,

Maria

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