Date:   5/9/2008 10:09:56 PM ( 16 y ago)
Hits:   9,871
URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=1169716

My husband has played Warcraft on and off for about 3 years. The two significant times when he quit the longest were 1. when he had to work in another state (he didn't have a choice) and 2. when I started being a better wife. I know that may sound crazy, and it's not my job to keep my husband off warcraft, but I do know from experience that when I started working at our marriage, without saying anything to my husband about it, he stopped playing Warcraft.

These are the things I did:
I started trying to appreciate him and telling him so everyday.
I didn't mention anything that would be stressful to him (finances, bills, etc.)
I "flirted" with him again.
I did all the things that were important to him... kept the house clean, etc.
I tried to complement him all the time.
I genuinely stopped caring that he played Warcraft, and I stopped talking about it.

I know that may sound extreme, but I'm sharing it because I know it really did make a HUGE difference in our marriage. This lasted for about 3 months, and then I got lazy with trying. I stopped complementing as much and I got annoyed with his faults more easily again. And sure enough, within a month he was playing Warcraft again.

I think people get some sort of validation from the game. A girl I know who plays the game said the most addictive part was the "love" she got. People on the game would say, "we need you" or "we missed you" or "you're the best healer" etc.

She felt appreciated on the game more than in real life. So she chose the game. Yes, it's selfish for the people who are in your real life.

I read a book that really motivated me to make the changes I needed to as a wife called, "Created to be his help meet", and it was immediately after I read that book that he stopped playing completely. My husband would come home from work, sit on the couch, and say, "Let's spend a few hours together and talk." !!!

It was really amazing, definitely the best time of our marriage so far. The book is by Debi Pearl. She has strong opinions and it is a Christian book. Some of her opinions I don't agree with, but overall it changed my marriage for the better (well when I do what she says, my marriage is AWESOME!) and my husband plays much less Warcraft.

Nothing else has worked, at all.

It is worth trying to save your marriage. Let me know how it goes. :)
 

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