Date:   4/13/2008 7:29:38 AM ( 16 y ago)
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URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=1153088

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Yes, it sure would be nice if the abuses of mankind could be healed because the victim chooses to demonstrate healthy interactions, #82897. 

It is not my intention to belittle your gentle suggestions - don't we all wish that your suggestions would be all it might take to end the cycles, but domestic violence and abuse doesn't occur because the perpetrator just needs a little more love.  Perpetrators of physical and emotional abuse are addicted to power and control - it becomes an almost erotic exercise to elicit fear and terror in their victims.  They do not view their victims as human beings with feelings, aspirations, or worth.  Perpetrators of domestic violence and abuse view their victims (including the children) as no more meaningful than a barnacle attached to the hull of a ship.  For men who are abused, this is an even greater issue because well-meaning people make suggestions or observations that question the victim's actions and render their attempts at finding help moot due to the stigma attached to female-on-male domestic violence and abuse.  The incidents of women abusing men are so underreported that research clinicians really can't provide a clear picture of just how many men are being abused, even as I type.

Have you taken the Domestic Violence Survey, yet?  Have you researched domestic violence and abuse?  I am certain that you have meant well, #82897, but sitting the family down together and reading the Bible (Koran, or Torah) will not - WILL NOT - end the abuse.  In fact, introducing religious or spiritual doctrines can often exacerbate the abuse and gives the perpetrator new tools of destruction in the forms of religious quotes and doctrines - this is called, "religious/spiritual abuse."  Please, read up some more on this epidemic and learn what an insidious and, often, incurable pattern of behavior domestic violence and abuse is:

http://curezone.com/faq/p/s.asp?a=25,1720,2956&s=58
***Click on the BLUE question marks in the survey questions to find web-pages relevant to the statistics***
http://www.domesticviolence.org/
http://www.ndvh.org/
http://www.drirene.com/male_victims_of_domestic_violenc.htm
http://www.safe4all.org/forums/message-view?message_id=20967
http://www.helpguide.org/mental/domestic_violence_abuse_types_signs_causes_ef...

These sites are just a drop in the bucket - each State has its own coalition on domestic violence and abuse along with hundreds of groups and agencies that are dedicated to assisting victims and breaking the cycle.  Learn more, please, so that you can formulate an understanding of why your gentle suggestions won't be helpful, more's the pity. 

Best wishes to you.

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