Re: not sexually turned on by fiance by #58095 ..... Ask CureZone Community
Date: 3/9/2008 10:21:51 PM ( 16 y ago)
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URL: https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=1129386
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When he was abusive, you had sex on your side as a tool to feel in control of something.
Now that he is subdued, the challenge is gone and sex as a tool to gain control is useless. You ended up with more control than you desired, therefore not the challenges you want that you can gain control.
The new man on the scene represents a challenge.
I think something is buried deep down inside of you calling for a challenge.
I think, to marry your boyfriend would be unfair to him and yourself with those feelings you have toward him now.
Do you really think you would be happily married forever the way it is now? Especially with the added stress of a new family added to it.
A psychologist may help you work things out that is buried inside you.
Do you ever feel worthless? Do you ever feel the need for self punishment? Do you ever feel the need for control. Do you ever feel the need for more attention, where you demand someone be overly attentative?
Is denial of sex really a way to distance yourself away from your boyfriend? Perhaps so he will be the one to pull away, and relieving you of the stress of breaking the relationship off yourself?
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