Date:   2/19/2008 7:18:13 PM ( 16 y ago)
Hits:   3,897
URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=1115256

Spanking can be an effective method of discipline PROVIDED:

1 - It is never to be done in anger, that's a no-no.  Many parents spank out of a desire to vent their frustrations - that's not discipline - that's abuse! 

2 - Spanking is not meant to injure or hurt - that also is abuse.

3 - Spanking isn't somethng that should be used frequently, but rather as a means of making a point that something is either way out of line or very dangerous.

4 - Spanking should never be done with any object whatsoever, but only using the hand and on the rear end, not anywhere else where it can hurt.

5 - Spanking should only be used as a means of getting attention, implying that the parent is serious and the bad behavior is not to be repeated or tolerated.

6 - Spanking should never ever be used as a substitute for effective parenting, communication, desire to teach right from wrong for the child's benefit, etc..

7- Stern looks and CONSISTENCY are far better than spanking - Mean what you say and say what you mean!  Wishy-washy parents create insecure, indecisive people, and ogres beget more ogres.

There are two kinds of people on opposite extremes of the spanking issue.  Those who spank to hurt a child and release their anger, and those that believe all spanking is  hurting a child.   The balanced atittude is more like; spanking should never be used to hurt or injure, it should be hard enough that the child knows the parent means business, but light enough so that there is no actual pain, just a light slap which stops the misbehavior on its tracks.  It is more the shock of the unexpected than any kind of pain which should be the goal.   The parent should look displeased but not furious or fear inspiring.   Fear is not respect, it is the attitude that cowards take to intimidate their victims, and sometimes those victims are children.

I truly believe there are far better methods of disciplining a child besides spanking, although every once in a while children that get out of hand will only respond with a quick slap on the fanny.   If a parent does not know how balance themselves then they should stay away from spanking altogether.   Nothing is more destructive to a child's morale than an angry, abusive parent requiring discipline out of the child that the parent him/herself doesn't have or inspire.

All discipline is good, but balance is even better.

Just my 50 cents.

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