Date:   2/18/2008 11:10:20 PM ( 16 y ago)
Hits:   2,955
URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=1114594

alright, heres the story, ive been with my fiancee for about four years now, the first year together, we got along but i always wanted to leave bc i am afraid of committment but he always made sure we would work things out, so then comes baby a year after, so to add the fun into the mix we are both first time parents, and our parenting skills are really different, i dont believe in spanking/ and he does, so thats a conflict in itself, dont get me wrong im not the best parent either though this is my first time too, but despite taking care of our son, we managed to improve our relationship with all this drama with our son, sleep deprivation, scheduling, babysitting, we did tend to have our fights but we were able to manage our relationship, i love it every weekend we would have our dinner date, i guess that to me was very special bc i hardly ever to get to spend some time with him, as everyone knows when you have a baby in the picture you really dont have much time for yourself much less for each other, the sex life was medium level lol, dont get me wrong it was great the first year wow....thru this birthing of my son, i realized that i had post partum depression, so my hormones and my moods were a little wacked out so i started to go thru withdrawls, i wasnt happy with my fiancee, but i love my son and enjoy spending time with him but whatever my fiancee did just wasnt ever right/or good enough, then i found out that i was pregnant again with our 2nd child, without knowing what was wrong with me in the beginning of the first trimaster, i thought i was really depressed, i went to see a counselor blah blah, was on meds. for depression, all thru this my fiancee has been very supportive, by the way at this point i was staying at home to take care of my son full time. so he was supportive, but he wasnt giving me that heart to heart talk, or matter fact any emotional feedback when i want to express my feelings towards him, really we hardly ever talk much, because he says he's always stress out with work which is true, and we had a talk about him detaching himself from work and separating it when he gets home and leave work at work, that has really been an issue, and we talked about it, and he said that he will try to work on it but he's never been able to do that, from that conversation i never brought it back up again even when he brings it home with him, he's a manager by the way, lets forward to when i had my daughter, well the problem of my post-partum Depression is back and i can tell because i am having second thoughts about being with him, then one day out of the blue i decided to tell him that i do not want to marry him anymore and didnt want to be with him, now this is after he's gotten me a brand new suv, diamond necklace, and an in-dash navigation/dvd player for christmas, i decided to tell him i dont want to be with him anymore, well we talked it out, i explained to him that he never expresses his feelings anymore and he doesnt want take the time to spend with the family, whenever he gets home he gets on the computer and just reading forums about cars/guns whatever that he says is to unwind him from work, which i was ok with but when it starts to interfere with family life and he doesnt even play with the kids for more than five minutes then he gets back up to the computer, in the back of my mind iam soo angry but then i look at it he's making the money for all of us, but the thing that really pisses me off is he doesnt have 5min with us but he's able to talk on the phone with his buddies for ONE HOUR STRAIGHT now tell me you dont have time. we'll after the fight that we had about me not wanting to be with him (1mo ago) we just had one, and this time its about the same thing he says im not trying to change and whatever im saying are just words, that my actions are louder than words, bc he only believes what he sees not what he hears, he tells me that he doesnt want to deal with me anymore, but he's not saying he wants to leave me, he says that he doesnt want to be depressed anymore by walking around on egg shells to see whats going to piss me off (keep in mind i just had a baby 5mos ago) so he continues to tell me that he is going to do whatever he needs to do to make himself happy, which i assume that he's not going to give me the respect, and when he tells me that when he comes home from work he doesnt want to hear me yelling/or giving him hell about being on the computer, but if i need him to do something for the kids then i need "ask" him other then that i need to leave him alone, omg!!!!!!!! are u kidding me, well after he said that yes ladies i said i am just going to move out and we can just separate ourselves because my understanding from that statement is that basically leave me alone.....granted he works and provides for all three of us but im not in this to raise the kids by myself....i dont know everyone, im just soo confused we've been together for so long and this is my only serious i mean serious relationship ever, and i really dont want my kids to not be without their father in the house but i just dont know what to do, i dont know if its even worth trying to make it work or what.



any advice or opinion would be gladly appreciate. thank you
 

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