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losing the love of my life by sagem911 ..... Rape Survivors Support Forum

Date:   2/13/2008 11:08:38 PM ( 14 years ago ago)
Hits:   3,872
URL:   https://curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=1110793

have been dating my girlfriend for a year. I starting looking at engagement rings about 5 months ago. I stopped looking about 2 months ago. I have since fell into deep Depression and have found it hard to hold the hand of my girlfriend.

The reason:
I met my girlfriend and we fell in love very quikly. She moved to Austin to be with me. She had shared with me thet she had been raped by a coworker about 5 years ago. She also shared with me that she was on prozac and had just recently gotten off effexor. I have never had to deal with this before and thought that with support and encouragement that everything would work out.

It was the greatest relationship until she started having flashbacks during sex. Then sex went from every day to once a week. Then from one a week to non-existent. We don't even kiss due to the fact that she thinks that I only kiss her to try and have sex with her. She now thinks to any act of kindness has an expectation of sex attached. We don't even cuddle anymore...no intiment moments in over a month.

Between the rape, drugs (effexor and prozac) originally to treat the after effects of rape, and the resulting continual rejection of attention and intimentcy, I am at my wits end. The love of my life is lost in a nightmare of rape flashbacks and a life without emotions...and I feel completely powerless.

We still talk every day and "say" nice things to one another. I have been supportive, caring, open, communitive, and as understanding as possible.

Our relationship is on life support. I am so depressed and rejected that I finally spoke to her about what I have been going through. I went from the happiest/luckiest guy in the world to feeling victimized/cheated by a someone that raped her. Their actions killed her inside and continue to do so.

Last week she said she would talk to someone(rape crisis counseling). I went to lifeworks and got information. She did call a few days later and setup an appointment.

I need help/advise.
What can I do?
Is she lost forever?
At what point do I say the price is too high?
Am I just being foolish for thinking things are going to workout?
What can I do to help her?
What can I do to cope with the the rejection?
Is there a way to reconnect with her to save what we have before?

Please help me. I can't handle this alone. We both deserve happyness.
 

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