Date:   1/28/2008 8:45:10 PM ( 16 y ago)
Hits:   5,110
URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=1097388

7 years, 70 years...when it comes to a violation like this....time seems to stand still. There are times I still feel the burn and pain. The feeling of degradation, hurt, humiliation. But I do have to disagree with needing to forgive. I thought that cliche went out in the 80's. I am so fortunate that my therapist never pushed that, nor even suggested it. There were people in my group who had been stuck for years trying to forgive, They could even say the words, then feel suicidal, go home and cut themselves, feeling guilty, enraged, confused afterwards.
The therapist instead, helped lead us to a feeling of apathy. No longer wishing bad things on the attacker. No longer hating the attacker. Instead, it was just as if they were talking about a stranger in some distant land. To me, apathy is the best way to let go. Not some forced need to forgive. I will leave that to God, the Buddha, or whatever else is the final judge.
No matter what your choice, do what feels right for you, and know that you have people in your corner.
 

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