Date:   1/21/2008 2:01:24 PM ( 16 y ago)
Hits:   17,367
URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=1091436

This reminds me exactly of my ex.
She was diabetic, & loved to put about 6 tablespoons of white Sugar in her coffee, every day, several cups, & sometimes went without any food for the day, but at other times it was just fast food or junk-food.
The last time I visited her, all she had in her fridge was chili-cheese fries.
The emotional roller-coaster was horrific, & nearly killed me, because I gave our relationship everything I had, but my nerves & guts were maxed out & frazzled before I came down w/ severe appendicitis & could have died, before we split.


"I cried out, and wanted someone to Listen To Me. You know what, only the paid professionals listened. Most others just pitied me. I had a bottomless cup. All the love in the world would not have filled me up. It seemed no one cared unless I was giving something to them."

She would constantly tell me that I did not love her, & that I never listened to her, even though I would do things to show her I loved her, & remind her of what I did, & tell her I loved her, & sit down with her & listen to her, often. I would listen to her for a long time & give her feedback, & every time I did this, I felt extremely drained, & exhausted. She would tell me, after all the effort that I did not listen to her, or love her. I felt very sad about this, but the more I listened, the more drained I became. I tried with all my strength to be there for her & give her what she told me she needed, but listening to her for so long, always drained me until I told her, I had to stop & sleep. Eventually, just being in the same house with her, made me very very drained & sleepy. She insisted we spend all our waking time together, when I was not at work, & I was always so tired. Especially after sex, I would try with all my might to stay awake, & this was weird, because I was so so drained & tired, trying to stay awake in such a state, I would enter trances, & not know the words coming out of my mouth, & she would ask me questions & I would answer, but not consciously, & then she'd wake me & I would be like, whoa, what just happened?

I love that lady. It saddens me that we are separated. It saddens me that she is so sick, & blames many of our problems on me, & I wonder to what extent I'm guilty of why our relationship turned out so badly, & why I attract women like this & how to end the cycle (abusive father related), but we cannot ever get back together, because she betrayed me in the end. She always insisted I be absolutely truthful & faithful to her, & with-holding info was considered a lie, but hers was the most blatant terrible lie, in the end.

Yes ladies, women can be nightmare spouses too. It's not always the men. This diabetic-sugar emotional roller-coaster nightmare is real, very real. My ex is a very spiritual woman, a reiki-master, reflexologist, brilliant women who can speed-read a book in a few minutes, & is very perceptive & intuitive, but none of that makes a lick of difference when it comes to how nice a person treats you. I always assumed if I married a spiritual empathic lady, I would be well off & we would be happy together. There's a lot more to spirituality than psychic, healing, intuition, empathic ability, a whole lot more. Kindness of heart, gentleness, tenderness, ability to feel & give & receive love, & higher loves, on many levels, care, compassion.... If you do not live it, it doesnt mean a thing.


 

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