Date:   1/11/2008 9:25:33 AM ( 16 y ago)
Hits:   1,389
URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=1083339

People who typically dissolve into mean-spirited behaviors during a debate or argument do so, IMHO, because they are in need of validating their own Self and, what better way to do so than to cause someone else to feel badly about themselves and retreat? They mistakenly believe that, if they can make a fellow human being feel subhuman because of their beliefs (religion, skin color, personal interests, gender, you name it), then they have the proverbial "upper hand" and have won the debate. A healthy debate remains focused on the question, issue, or topic, and does not devolve into a finger-pointing contest. Some people have not learned (and, are not interested in learning) that art while others are striving to practice it better each chance they get. As Molly pointed out so well, human beings are multi-faceted organisms and layered just like onions. There's nothing simple about us and the ways that we act, react, and behave, it seems.

I was initially concerned that the discussion to the original question was going to become unkind and unhelpful rather than encourage you to develop your own understanding of the issue. With the exception of a couple of angry members, there were several good points offered that still might help you to draw your own conclusions about the original issue. Take that which you found helpful and let the rest go. By saying that, it shouldn't be interpreted as, "Take what you found to validate your choices," either - take what you found that caused you to THINK and consider all angles of the issue and leave the rest.

As for people and their meanness, they are "allowed" to be as mean and as hateful as they wish - you, on the other hand, are not required to tolerate or accept treatment that is deliberately hurtful to you. Not tolerating and not accepting doesn't mean that you have to even defend your opinions - you have the option to pity those people who find personal satisfaction by sitting in judgement of others and turn your head to focus your attention on people who are willing to "DISCUSS" an issue without giving in to that temptation to preach.

There are a lot of people out there in Real Life and in Online Life who literally wait for just such topics of discussion to come up so that they can pontificate on Their Law of Choices - Their View is the only acceptable one and, if you have the unmitigated nerve to voice YOUR opinion, they are unable to rationally discuss their views and quickly become disdainful and hasten to pass judgement when they are not given that right. OF course, if we allow others to judge us, then we have thrown in the towel on who we are and what we believe just to appease people whose opinions are irrelevant in the Grand Scheme of Things. Ultimately, it is YOUR opinion and view of your Self (your Life's Spark that makes YOU unique) that matters - are you comfortable with your decisions and choices? If so...GREAT! What anyone else might have to say about the issue is moot.

Best wishes to you!
 

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