Re: Lovely Posts, Sandover! by sandover ..... Parenting Support Forum
Date: 1/5/2008 2:30:40 PM ( 16 y ago)
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URL: https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=1078101
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Well, thanks, O!
I have enjoyed your posts although we frequent differrent forums, too -- and Molly is one of my great teachers here (although of the good variety rather than the enemy-as-teacher one...!) at CZ through her guidance and support at Oil Pulling, where we both "see" each other a lot! I do appreciate this forum and the other child-related ones a great deal, although let's just say I am always hesitant to give parenting advice per se -- I learn a lot from all of you and the discussions, but I am a lurker most of all around here!
That said, I am convinced of the power of amends, however uncomfortable they are while considering them and then how sticky they can be to make. It can take me an embarrassingly long amount of time from the point where I am clear on what I have done wrong to the point where I am in willingness to set it right with the object of my wrath, etc. And it helps to keep in mind that the other person can be a total assh*ole by any standards, but the end result is always a more positive and connected feeling to everyone for me.
Not sure if Molly is reading this but I did think last night on the way to bed that a carefully considered letter has often done the trick for me. Face-to-face is the place where I feel the greatest benefit, but sometimes a letter is warranted (in this case, a letter that Molly helped her son write might/would also be seen by the other kid's parents and they might be able -- one would hope -- to be responsible and to say, "This is really nice! He is a good person who made a mistake, and it's time for you to forgive!"
In today's world I wouldn't hold my breath on that front ;) but it's nice to think that it could happen, and a LOT can happen when we set aside our ego in such a way as to let the Universe step in and take over!
Best to all --
Laura
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