Date:   12/27/2007 7:30:20 PM ( 17 y ago)
Hits:   4,681
URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=1071397

"As for relationships with others--yes, they do say that no matter if your are male or female, you do marry your mother"

I have to jump in on this one: first, this is the first I've heard this saying. I'd heard that if you're a girl, you marry your father, and visa versa. My husband has turned out to be so much like my dad, it's almost creepy... but actually it's great because my dad rocks! This is in personality mostly: in some very important ways, he is neither like my mother or my father, in deep ways that have to do with how he handles relationships or confrontation. So yeah, just thought I'd jump in since there are different scenarios.

Also, I agree that standing up for oneself when it matters is an important skill for people to learn. Sometimes people believe they don't stand up for themselves because they are a nice person and don't want to be mean, but this is often self serving, out of a desire for that person to be liked at any cost. Ironically, this doesn't work: the person may be agreeable but may lose respect of the people around them and also frustrate people who rely on them. Or the self serving desire might be one of avoiding confrontation. You do yourself or the person you are 'sparing' no good by being 'nice' aka not standing up for what is important.

The place where it can be hard to find balance is deciding when it is important. I also think it is good to be easy going if the issue is inconsequential.

~Cheers
 

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