Date:   12/22/2007 7:04:45 PM ( 17 y ago)
Hits:   2,496
URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=1068523

1. I was just wondering if it is a good thing if you tell your loved one that you miss them? Missing in itself is not a positive thing to focus on - does saying this lead to negative feelings or positive ones? What you mean when saying this is that you really would love to see the other or see them again. It is an expression that you love that person so much that you miss their presence in your life.

I did say that to my husband on that voicemail, that I really missed him and of course it sounded a little emotional. Did this make him feel bad? Is this something one should avoid at all costs?

I am not trying to make things complicated, but I want to do this right. :-)

2. You mentioned in the other thread if I understand correctly that with time I will be able to apply LOA more effectively, specifically regarding this to me most important issue of my marriage, by preventing negative thoughts and emotions about him and us and maintaining positive thoughts and emotions. This will then lead to a changed behaviour in him by my setting an example of joy. As I send out positive vibrations he will react to those. I understand that the goal for me is to focus on ME, on MY thoughts and feeling and not his.

My question, even if I do this right, it will not automatically lead to the observance a drastic sudden change in his behaviour, correct? Change in him is expected to be slowly but steady, yes? So that would mean that he will continue to show actions he had previously = dont wants for a while. So, what I need to do is keep my focus ONLY on the positive aspects and apply virtual reality as discussed and this will lead to a steady improvement in his actions = wants in our relationship and ignore any setbacks. Is this correct?

What I'm trying to say is, he WILL change his actions and my wants WILL come true as long as I stay focused and don't let any setbacks dissappoint me/bring up negative thoughts and emotions. For example, if he pulled back in some form, not let this get me upset.

So just because he may take a step backwards occasionally this doesnt mean I necessarily created it at each and every moment as it is a process for him that takes time?


 

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