Date:   11/9/2007 10:59:15 AM ( 17 y ago)
Hits:   5,154
URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=1039012

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Uh-huh...you be right Girlfriend~!

There are so many red flags stuck in this relationship
that it looks like a little mind-field of a guy setting
this woman up to eventually fail him. Its cool if that
is what she wants. I was in a relationship JUST like this
and was engaged to the man for 5 years. It became hell.
He would lock me in the house and sit in front of the
door in a chair reading a book, giving me the silent
treatment. If he could lock me in a cage, he would have.
Why, because he loved me so much but could not even bear
another man looking at me. He had tons of parties and I
was never allowed at any of them. He was not comfortable
with me even wearing shorts or sleeveless tops. He was
a groovy writer, musician, cook, lover...everything you
could want with a major wrinkle. I finally did put my
foot down and we went to pre-marriage counseling. The
counselor worked with us for months but he just could
not find a way to let go of this control issue and so
the fork in our path was ahead. I made the choice to
give myself a chance at happiness devoid of this mind
playing insanity. I was devastated and thought I would/
could never love anyone as much as I loved him. I was
wrong and went on to be stronger and have boundaries
and a huge capacity to communicate in all my subsequent
relationships. If this girl's guy is willing to lay down
his emotional dart guns and hammers, that is one thing,
but if after all her efforts, this continues to be that
booby trap he sets for her over and over, she needs to
make the choice to be free and clear, or chained and in
a relationship that only caters to the whims and wishes
of this guy....

He is reliving his trauma and perhaps he could be unselfish
enough to suspend his accusations enough to put himself
in her shoes and see how his actions are affecting their
relationship, but her remark, "I'm swimming in the dark
and I don't know how much longer I have before I get tired",
shows me, she is really swimming alone. I say, put some
distance into the relationship and see is she means enough
to him for him to seek her out and open up the relationship
to redefinition.

Oh, and the guy who played this game with me was the ONLY
person who ever asked me how many guys had gone before him.
The number was not zero and he made himself miserable for it
and I did not want to pay for my choices with his laying some
guilt trip on me...life would be great if only you had been
a virgin...arrrgh...

Go girlfriend, go girlfriend~!

be happy, be well,
Zoe

-_-
'U`
 

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