Date:   10/17/2007 9:01:31 AM ( 17 y ago)
Hits:   3,775
URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=1022948

I only had one relationship, in college, with a guy that was just about casual sex. I tried to convince myself we had a boyfriend/girlfriend thing going on, but it really wasn't true, he was basically just a friend I started having sex with, I don't even know why, because we were young and unattached and horny I guess. We stayed friends for a few years afterward, too, with minimal awkwardness. (I somehow segwayed into dating one of his friends as I was phasing out with him, but that's another story.) I gotta say, it was some of the best sex of my life, and while I still prefer it in the context of a relationship (my husband is glad for that, I'm sure), I'm glad I didn't miss out on the freedom of emotionally un-attached, kinda drunk sex. It was also my one experience with potentially public sex because one night we were in the art studio doing some pretty risque stuff on one of the large workbenches in front of the window that opened onto a courtyard. Totally possible somebody could have been out there watching, and I still cringe when I think about that. I think the cheap wine at the time blotted out any concern about being seen. Frankly, I wish I'd been a lot more free about sex in general in my 20's, I think my upbringing stifled a pretty strong sex drive I wish I still had, and I could have had a lot more fun with it. Of course, I have a girlfriend who slept around a lot and she's had several abortions...

Then there was my first big love I fell hard for, before that, when I was about 19. We stayed friends for 10 years after the one year relationship that completely turned me upside down, and I carried a torch most of that time. I won't say he was the one that got away because I know I'm with the man I'm supposed to be with now, but I never had closure with that guy. My last visit with him was really uncomfortable, I was a late bloomer in many ways, and he was annoyed with me in that respect, and while I didn't think the silent treatment we gave each other afterwards would last more than a few months, it did, and ten years later, I still feel the loss of that intense and romantic friendship. I tried contacting him through a mutual acquaintance last year around Christmas, but never heard anything back. All I know is he's off making movies in CA. I googled him and his film projects come up. I used to know someone almost famous.... I wonder if he would have shrugged me anyway once he started hanging out with the hollywood crowd...He was a good guy, really. The timing was bad. He would not have been a good long term partner, though, he loves women too much and I doubt could be with just one, happily ever after. The one I landed can. :)

Sorry, Molly, that last one wasn't lite.... ! *sigh* Now I'm all nostalgic....

 

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