Date:   10/6/2007 10:57:51 PM ( 17 y ago)
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URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=1015451

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Hi, almost 4 years ago I was diagnosed with scleroderma.
It is a hardening of skin and organs in some cases. It has taken a long time for me to heal so that I could begin the journey into wellness again, but here it begins and boy am I grateful for people like you sharing your strength and hope.
The hardest thing about facing myself was not the food changes, or the physical lifestyle changes. It was the emotional changes that had to come to light.
I have been in an abusive relationship, of some sort, throughout my 35 years.
I have repeated this pattern so often that I believed it was happening to me , when the truth is, when I was younger it may have happened to me, but after that I kept the belief around myself like a blanket of identity. And i kept that belief going right into disease. Many thoughts like, "I need to be tougher" "I need to have a thicker skin" "I need to try harder"= thick skin.
"I can't stomach his {behavior} " "He makes me sick" = digestive problems
"I'm never enough, I am always wrong, what's wrong with me" = low immune function
"I'm trapped" "how can I get away without destroying my family?" =dying
Not a fate I would want for anyone, and certainly not a solution.
Ironically, this disease process was missed early on and classified as fibromyalgia.
Most people seem to act like disease is a possession and not a process. It seems like a lot of drs with tunnel vision miss seeing the whole person and consequently miss a great opportunity to help their patients facilitate great healing.
Or..maybe not. I have been reading a book called Radical Forgiveness and maybe they were trying , on another level, to really help me face myself.
For now, I keep trying to unfold and let God in. Looking forward to seeing your book. Peace and blessings, juanita
 

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