Date:   10/2/2007 1:18:12 AM ( 17 y ago)
Hits:   2,408
URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=1012020

Hi 53710 :)

I have social anxiety disorder too, in a major way. I don't even feel comfortable at family parties (of course I happen to come from a large family 4 bros, 4 sisters). I find the whole experience very difficult. I've spend a fair amount of time in my life trying to figure out just what it is about parties that people think is fun. I'd rather go to the dentist. And I'm like you too, everyone likes me, I make friends easily.

If I were in your position, I'd do a couple of things to empower myself. First, I'd stop feeling like it was a problem and start focusing on how to think positive, and some develop skills.

You could start 'preparing' yourself in advance of any social occasion. Make a list of things to talk about, then think of ways to make that conversation more interesting to the other person. "Hey, I went camping last week, saw a bear - have you ever seen much wildlife?" I'd also think of some jokes to have onhand for when conversation dies. Think about the people that you know that will be at this event, and imagine their interests. Then develop some questions about specifics in their lives. "Joanne, I heard you were studying to be a respiratory therapist, that's so cool. What part of that job will interest you the most, do you think?"

Everyone (except people like you and I) are happy to talk about themselves. Get them talking! You can master this form of communication and learn to feel comfortable. People will come away liking you even more too - because you listen to them and take thoughtful interest in their lives.

You mentioned dancing. This one is easy - no really it is! Take some dancing lessons and don't dance at a party until you're confident. You can become a total dancing pro if you keep at this. You don't have to spend money. At the next dance, find someone that you know would be a good friend, male or female, that could show you some tricks. Then practice. Also, I know there are a ton of dance lesson videos out lately - look them up on ebay for cheap.

When you've arrived at a social event, and before you've gotten out of the car. Take a few minutes... calm yourself. Tell yourself "I can do this". Sometimes when I've been extra nervous before a party, I've taken some advil or aspirin, just to help myself calm down a little. A good idea is to knock off caffeine for that day too.

I hope these ideas help you. I can envision you being the best dancer there, and smiling while you're having a genuine good time at the party! carrie
 

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