Date:   9/22/2007 10:03:34 AM ( 17 y ago)
Hits:   2,649
URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=1004565

THIS IS A REPOST from below. The goal is justice. If you forgive without the perpetrator truly feeling remorseful, you not only mock your own pain, you convict yourself of being deserving of what was done to you. Since your conscience knows you weren't deserving of injustice, your conscience won't let you forget that you have convicted an innocent person (yourself, this is justice). Your conscience will also haunt you because of the betrayal. Be careful with forgiveness, it is from your heart (don't cast your pearls before swine,...a Godly principle).
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Forgiveness is a very (thoroughly) misunderstood thing (from beginning to end).

You are never to offer permission to ANYONE to continue to harm you.

Forgiveness should ONLY be offered to someone AFTER (and IF) they have shown TRUE and SINCERE heartfelt remorse and you are satisfied that they truly ADMIT and ACCEPT their responsibility for causing you unjust grief and will help you deal with the CONSEQUENCES of THEIR actions and truly intend not to repeat the situation because they have learned to respect you and your property.

This means that, BEYOND the morality of the situation, they are now concerned that you have suffered CONSEQUENCES and are going to be convenient for you so that your burden will be shared by them.

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This is the illustration of what it means to be a VICTIM and suffer CONSEQUENCES...

In the Christian sense of heavenly forgiveness, God sent His Son to satify the REQUIREMENTS for our entrance into heaven, but God is never a VICTIM and never suffers CONSEQUENCES when we do something wrong, but when we do something wrong to each other, we are VICTIMS and suffer CONSEQUENCES/inconvenience.
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So, the forgiveness of each other is a little different than what is usually taught. In truth, forgiveness does not mean that you should continue to let someone harm you, cause you unjust inconvenience or any kind of consequences. It is something that should only be done wisely and IF you believe that sincere remorse and a learned respect for your rights has been shown. The perpetrator must TRULY and SINCERELY validate (take seriously and not mock) your pain (if they don't do this, they are not sincere).

You cannot forgive someone for what they have done to OTHER people (you have no right).

You cannot (it's an impossibility) forgive someone until they FULLY recognize and admit their guilt, but also agree to do the right thing and be responsible for their actions by helping deal with the burden that is a result.

You can only forgive someone if you feel they have personally harmed YOU intentionally (in children, you may choose to overlook mistakes). Forgiveness is a personal thing, no one can compel you to do it (it can be beneficial in your own peace/serenity when you are ready).



 

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