Re: Confession? Regret? Does it matter?

A complicated situation. Weed certainly complicates things... whether it's recreational or more than that, no matter your reasons for smoking it. You might think you're using it to simplify thing, heck you might BECOME a more simplified person when smoking it, but when you finally have to face the reality you'll realize it has complicated your life more than you were ever able to recognize.

I spent an entire summer between my freshman and sophomore years of college smoking it up (just to establish the legitimacy of my advice). I don't REGRET it... that was a phase, a chapter in my life and I won't say that I didn't experience growth and joy during that time. But can't I experience growth and joy WITHOUT it? Yes. At the end of that summer a LOT of things changed in my life, and I suddenly realized that I must stop. Not cut down, not do it every once in awhile, not use it when I'm feeling sad... I STOPPPED. I see people from that phase of my life, still potheads, still dragged down by their constant use- dare I say dependency?- on this drug that makes their lives seem so much "easier". I can also see that those people have not matured one iota since that looooong ago summer. I have enough clarity, in retrospect, to recognize that I, too, would not have been FREE to become the person that I am today if I filled my time with mind-altering substances. You might think you can concentrate better, deal with stress more effectively, whatever... but when you stop and think about it, those are excuses that you use to enable yourself to continue doing something that isn't good, isn't healthy.

Sure, there are worse things you could be doing. But think about what COULD happen... think about the relationships you will harm, the trust you will betray (for me, it was my parents' trust), even think about going to jail. If you aren't happy, then make some changes. Weed is preventing you from getting the motivation and desire to rise up and find what is going to make you happy. This might not be a "gateway" drug, it might not be as physically or psychologically altering as other drugs, it might be considered the "safest" or the least invasive... but it's a drug. Why are you using it? Ask yourself that question. For me, the only answers I could come up with seemed like lame rationalizations.

Good luck- find what makes you happy! Leave this stage of your life behind you, if and when you're ready.