sorry..just venting.........................

i regret being FAKE..i think i know but i have no idea..i think im cool cause i go out drinking, but im not..i think im to cool for school but i could learn a lesson or two from that kid who brought home the cute girl even though he came to the bar with a t-shirt and jeans..i look at these girls who stimulate primal instincts yet dont even know the color of my eyes..all they see is the green, the greed, the grief..all they want is the money, the chingo dinero, the billfold..and since i cant offer, they dont accept..they want the outgoing, the "ready for anything", the impulsive..sorry..sorry i think before i act...sorry i have emotions behind these hazel curtains that shield me from you..that you feel shielded from..sorry i dont drop my shield like you drop your panT*$#..i pretend to walk around and know whats up, yet i know nothing of the up...i give UP to easy, im infatuated with the exterior, knowing nothing of the interior..would i buy a car with leather seats and a nice paint job if it didnt start..hmmm.probably not...so why am i consumed with this feeling...why am i not satisfied with healing..why do i feel like the rain only falls upon my shoulders..why do i feel as if this chip has become a boulder..the bluest of skies have been seen in your eyes, still the grayest of grays still apparent in you lies..OK..thats it..im buzzed and im sick..im an arrogant prick..no more only lonely lonely lonely...............ok im done venting..replies welcomed but not needed..hopefully the self pitty plant has not been seeded...WOW..i think i just realized why i stopped drinking..