but if this is true isn't this worse then just wanting to be a good person for the sake of being a good person?
the only reason you claim you are moral or want to be moral is because you are afraid of your god. which is terrible, because lets just pretend for a second that no concept of god ever existed in the world. then because you have no outside force making you want to be moral (or in your case scaring you into being moral) you wont be moral.
a good atheis is good because he wants to be, for the sake of his fellow man. you are only good ( so you claim) because you are afraid