Trying again....

Hey one and all,

Just got my vegetable glycerine again. Have been hoping to get started and have the same sucess I was having the last time.

Wish me well, the good energy will be needed. Pray for me, that this time I will simply stay the course, my spirit will take strength from that, and use it to sustain my determination.

For those that have doubts, please do not say a thing. It was the veiled doubts that led me to stop my last successful run. And it has become more tenacious. Somehow like a weed that grew stronger from having been cut down once, while leaving the roots deeply embedded.

I am not "just a heavy drinker that can stop at any time", I am not a "weekend warrior", I am not a "social drinker". Simply because I drink only after work, does not mean I can control it at will. If this were true, I'd never drink everyday. I'd never let it affect me or my family life. I'd not have been drinking for so many years, or for every reason. I'd have been home with beloved ones, rather than out with mere acquaintances at local "hot spots".

I am a working alcoholic. Because I work and perform all my work just fine and do not drink during work. And show up for work everyday.

I am not even a functioning alcoholic, because drinking has affected my personal life. Deeply, and negatively. Drinking dulls the brightness of life. The sounds of laughter, the pride, the love.

I am simply, an alcoholic.

It is not pretty.

I could try this quietly, and say nothing, not chance embarrassment - but hope to post that I have the same feeling of triumph I felt a couple of months ago, of counting days witout drinking and driving past liquor stores without just "having" to stop. Of meeting friends for JUST dinner.

And so, I hope to share that this time, the combination of the hypoglycemic diet, B12, B complex, and Glycerine with lemon and water, will sustain the body's processes and allow it to rebound until alcohol is not a part of the glycolysis process in my body. I hope to one day post "It has been one year since...", "two years since...", "Fell down, but got up and kept going..."

I AM working on the personal phsycological program, trying to read and meditate, and forgive myself. Trying to cleanse the mental terrain, allowing time to be who I really am. Dancing more, skating more, fostering my creativity, becoming more aware of my own needs. Letting spirit be. Learning how to be a bit assertive. By myself.

It has been painful - but it is the only way for me.

I do pray, and believe in God and our onenes with God, but don't feel comfortable in structured group settings. I am naturally, extremely shy. Though most people do not believe that - it is a simple truth. That is why AA has not been a comfortable avenue for me personally.

I could not even attend "toasters annonymous" meetings to overcome my fear of public speaking. :( - Too intimidating.

So, this path offers me hope, gives me a tool that I can try on my own.

For those that may want to know more about this plan, I will post some links below.

I will also be doing a liver cleanse, humaworm, some juicing - as well as adding graham crackers to my daily routine.

With most hope for success, deep appreciation to all that post information, and love to all that offer support here at CureZone,

MadArt (ist)

Alcoholism is a treatable disease:
http://www.hypoglycemia.asn.au/articles/alcoholism_treatable.html


Why alcoholics drink:
http://www.hypoglycemia.asn.au/articles/why_alcoholics_drink.html


The serotonin connection:
http://www.hypoglycemia.asn.au/articles/serotonin_connection.html


What is Hypoglycemia:
http://www.hypoglycemia.asn.au/articles/what_is_hypo.html


The hypoglycemic diet:
http://www.hypoglycemia.asn.au/articles/hypoglycemic_diet.html


Adrenal fatigue and alcoholism:
http://www.adrenalfatigue.org/alcoholism_addiction.php


Phsycotherapy links:
http://www.hypoglycemia.asn.au/i-psychotherapy.html


Why Sugar cravings and graham crackers:
//www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=269392#i


And thank you Mr. Plesman...










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