I'm so glad you found me! This whole mess gets worse by the day. My husband and I have just been trying to go on with our lives as normally as possibly, and not engage her, which only seems to make her angrier and more irrational. Any notes I have given her, have been short and to the point, with no emotial, name calling stuff. What I posted last night is an example of what I get in return. There are also the crazy phone messages, and the white-hot anger towards us about something that happened almost 2 months ago! Usually I would try to explain myself, such as "No mom, the power is out in the area, which means the machine won't pick up. Please don't threaten to call the authorities over something I have no control over". But I am not even doing that, because then she is going to get what she wants and try to coax me into a fight again. But, by not giving her what she wants, she is getting angrier and angrier. I already know she bad mouths my husband and I to her friends. This is a small community and the thought of us bad mouthing us in our town is very upsetting. My husband works for the town and I a professional who can not afford to have her peers think she is an "elder abuser". A friend of ours is a sheriff, and I asked him his opinion on the situation yesterday. He just laughed and said if she called the police over this stuff, they would probably come to our house and have a talk with her or refer her to the civil complaint department. He said since I am not her caretaker this "elder abuse" stuff is just nonsense. It's still upsetting and very hurtful though.
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