It sounds like your emotions are affecting your looks more than your health.
Read: You Can Heal Your Life by Louise L Hay
I've had the same problems with my hands. Watch the kind of soap you use - avoid regular chemical soaps at all costs (including face/body/hair soaps and shampoos). They just age you and make you dry.
Slather yourself lightly in coconut oil every night before going to bed (if you can do it after a nighttime bath/shower to open the pores that's even better) and get some cotton gloves to put over your oiled hands at night (locks in the moisture). Put emu oil lightly on your face and undereyes to stop scaling during the day. You can use the coconut oil in your hair overnight as a treatment as needed.
Take a sillica supplement (I've heard good things about BioSil brand) and eat flaxseed oil everyday if you don't already :) Give it three months at least to work and for your body to adjust.