may be helpful to someone out there looking for answers

When I first realized I had AF I was so sick and desparate for answers. I remember finding this forum and reading every post I could get my hands on. It is one of the only things that got me thru, so a year and a half later I want to post, hoping to inspire or help someone as sick as I was. I have posted on this site for a year and a half, but some people are so sick they can't read all the posts and retain all the info. there were certain people that helped me so much, they no longer post here. JamesG was one of them, I often wonder how he is even though I do not know him. anyway, here is my story... I had not been feeling myself for a few years, but could not put my finger on it. I got melasma in my early thirties and did not realize that was my first physical sign that my adrenals were messed up. I did research on melasma, never making the link til later. After awhile i got to a place where Depression set in and i began suffering panic attacks, I went on an antidepressant. I hated it and got off after only 2 weeks. the panic went away, but the Depression was off an on. I still was not myself. I blamed it on hormones. I researched and came across AF but did nothing more. I took alot of supplements that never helped. i even began a liquid herb for adrenals. during this time I craved alcohol and drank quite a bit. it helped me for the moment, but after awhile made me feel worse and worse, even 1 drink brough on panic so i stopped. i also put on weight, especially around my mid section and dieted continually, losing a few gaining it back. i could not lose weight easily anymore and I have always been very thin. I stopped being active as my energy went away and I stopped my daily walks. i was miserable, but I had no idea what misery was. One day I began awaking with panic attacks again, so severe that I could not recover from them. I becamse so depressed. I could only lie there. I stopped sleeping and icould not eat. i got diarhea and lost 20 lbs in a month. I stopped driving or going out as I was too panicky. My life was hell. I knew I had AF but did not know what to do. It also seemed like I had hypoglycemia, judging from my symptoms, but no one had told me those 2 diseases go together so I did not make the connection. I went to an MD they took a thyroid test which was of course, normal. They wanted me on antidepressants. I said no. i went to a naturopathic dr and she said I was fine, i should eat healthy and refused to do a saliva test for my adrenals even though I asked. i had read up on it. I asked for glandualrs, she said no. She said i should drink milk, juice, eat fruits and veggies. i left after paying over 200.00 and feeling no better. i cry when I think about that day. It was my only hope, and it took us 2 hours to get to her. my husband had to take off work as i could not drive and it was his birthday. I was so sick I could hardly walk. I was not able to put food in my mouth and mostly drank broth. he did not know what to do. i was so sad I just cried. everyone wondered why I looked so bad, I was so thin and weak. I could not walk up the stairs in my house, I had to crawl. she had told me to drink black strap molasses in some juice to get my minerals, and i did, but i got worse and worse. i called her back saying her advice seemed to make me feel worse, she told me i was in a crisis and to go on an antidepressant. I was pissed. i knew i had a sickness, i was not crazy. i saw an iridologist who has addisons disease. she understood everything i was going thru. She was helpful, and by this time we realized I was hypoglycemic and eating the fruit, drinking the milk and juices with the molasses was the worst possible thing for me. i stopped. I called another ND and asked him if he did saliva testing, he said yes, i made an appt. this was my best move yet. it showed i had AF, but that i also was allergic to gluten. I gave it up after a long struggle. I had already given up caffeine, alcohol, sugar, even fruits, simple carbs and now gluten. I felt very limited, but as long as i felt better i did not care. I would have done anything at this point I was so miserable. my ND also did a blood test on me for food allergies as I was still getting sick. It was corn. I had eatne some corn on the cob and went into a terrible spell. Once i knew that i was so relieved. I began eating protein, lots of it, red meat at every meal. I ate a few veggies, gluten free bread, and brown rice. I really had to have the meat or i felt bad. we began buying organic beef thru a farmer. I did not need all the Antibiotics and hormones in commercial meat. I was overly sensitive to noise, any stimuli, light, and chemical smells. I was continualy sick to my stomach, and even chewing a piece of Sugar free gum gave me panic. splenda and aspertame are not friendly to me, same with msg. I had to be so careful all the time. I finally had to go on an antianxiety med to sleep and help with the panic. I began eating in the middle of the night and it helped. the med helped me rest for the first time in weeks and I felt better after sleeping. I can't tell you how many nites I just lay there, so depressed and not knowing what to do. tired, but never able to sleep. Always too anxious. after sticking closely to my diet and getting lots of sleep, i began to feel human again. I will not lie, I was always terrified when people said it takes 1 or 2 years to recover from AF. It sure as heck does, I am still not all the way there. Most of it is my fault though. I begin to feel good and i eat something i should'nt. I have crashed a few times, blood Sugar wise. It tears the adrenals apart. I also am in a situation where i am now trying to get off my antianxiety medication and it is really hard. It is a benzo, and not easy to quit. I am tapering. I don't know if or how I'll sleep without it, but I know it is bad for me and I need to get off to continue my journey to good health. It can be done. It is hard, and someitmes people won't believe you. Even drs will think it is in your head. but don't give up. You can do it. Leslie Tweet