You are a bit defeatist there, although, some of the points you mention make sense. But there are not only unhealthy men or abusive men, and all the women are perfect.
Maybe many people marry for the bad reasons that aren't realistic enough, they want the fairy tale, and they believe in a marriage with never any problem to resolve and don't tolerate anything from their partner but never come to terms with their own flaws, I would say that's the main reason why the divorce rate is so high, illusions.