I have a few suggestions to try.... I 100% believe that you have to feel mentally/emotionally relaxed so if you are in a relationship that goes along with this, then try these suggestions with a partner. If you think you'll feel more free alone, then go for that. Parts of this may seem a little graphic to some, so I just wanted to warn you; I know that I would want someone to tell me all this stuff though so here goes. If you want to try a vibrator (and it can be a massager or something, it doesn't have to be designed for this), I would suggest some light external stimulation with it. Make sure you're in a comfortable place maybe with the lights off. Play out a scenario in your mind that really turns you on even if it is unrealistic and you would never do it. Close your eyes and try to move the vibrator around to wherever feels the best (for me it is just slightly to the side of my clitoris). As you are getting into your fantasy, try to do some deep rhythmic breathing through your mouth. You could also try pressing your hips down and arching your back a little. It may also help to clench the muscles you use to hold urine in (kegels). Keep the fantasy going in your head or switch to a different one if you are not really "feeling it." If you like watching p 0 r n, try that. TRY EVERYTHING. This is not something to feel shy or close-minded about. Do it with someone or alone, but it is well worth the effort you put in. If you don't want to use a vibrator and have a partner to work with, you can do whatever foreplay gets you in the mood. Once you're really turned on, he can put a finger or two inside of you and focus his attention on the area on the stomach-side of your vaginal wall (the G-spot). He can tap it, rub it, or make a "come here" kind of motion with his finger. You can do the same thing with your hips and your breathing that I suggested before. These are all only suggestions; everybody is different. This is just what works for me. Play around with it. I think the main points are to do some heavy breathing (kind of like deep slow panting) and to press your hips down. And you of course have to feel comfortable and beautiful! I really hope this helps. Keep posting if you have other questions or need any clarifications. Good luck!