I'm engaged to a wonderful woman, whe share a verry healthy productive relationship, and for the most part everything is good. She has an ex-husband who sexualy/physically abused her and was molested her whole life by her grandfather.
It seems like the problem comes in when she feels guilty for leaving her ex. This is brought on through her religous views and because of them she seems to excuse him for his actions. This went on for 11 years and I am so thankful she got out when she did.
I guess my question would be, how can I have her understand that things wern't good because "I'm still here" which is her view about it. She won't go to councelling because she dosn't see where there was a problem. I just wish she'd see things for what they were so she can go on with her life without the guilt she carries with her. I love her so much, I hate to see her taking the blame for wrecking the family when she's not the one at fault.