I know how you feel about religion; I 've been there. The feelings you still have are real, even if they were imagined. May I suggest a technique that addresses emotional pain. You don't have to buy anything or go anywhere to tune to your emotions; you can prictice it on your own. The technique is very simple; it can be downloaded for free at http://www.emofree.com. It helped me great deal, I hope you invest some time with, and try it.
The reason I asked about protein and rice, because I lose weight without trying. Eating salad alone terrifies me. Rice is a carbohydrate that is why should be avoided. I am glad it has worked for you, I will follow in a slower pace.