Dream (cleansing the Liver = cleansing old issues)

My last 3 Liver Cleanses specifically have released a lot of emotional stuff I can say that with surety. Each of the last 3 flushes I have dreams that regress me further back in childhood and I am astonished because I recall some childhood issues that were repressed. I remember the issues of origin and recall how I felt but in addition I realize how it affected me today.

During my 13th (or so)flush 2 nights ago. I had one of many recurring dreams over several months. Very quick and brief,little detail. All my schoolmates are watching me and a girl named S. in school settings like playground, class, field trips etc.. Me and S. are the main characters. We feel kinship with each other yet do not talk or communicate much. We feel as if everyone knows we are different like we have a mark on us and people are staring or taking too much notice of us. We feel as if on stage performing to everyones whim. We are unsure and wondering why they see us as different. I Feel and hear the cruel thoughts and actions especially the nonverbal ones I also feel the feelings from the perspective of S. S. is middle eastern and had a distinguishing birthmark in her 3rd eye region.

Last nights dream had everyone from my grade school sitting at a picnic table from an actual scene from a camping trip we took in 6th grade. There was one boy that I did not know and he stood up from amidst the others with great purpose. I said "who are you" he said "it is not important". I felt he was a guide and I perceived the name John attached to him. Everyone else was frozen in time except me, S. and guide john. He told me "You need to stand up and come sit next to... and then SHOUTED S.'s name.... which triggered recall of other dreams? where I had been told the same as If I should not miss IT this time. I looked and realized that there were always empty spaces around S where she sat ( even though the kids were sociable to her in conversation) Another girl a vietamese friend was now standing by my side as was my counselor and mentor from that period they were smiling at us.

SO after this dream I realized I felt relief. I realized that part of my life was in reaction to some childhood issues, perceptions and self worth issues related to racism, prejudice and stereotypes. I recalled the extreme hurt and embarassment I experienced at that same picnic table on the 6th grade field trip. I always recall the hurt and the issue that spurred it at the exact table where i sat in despair trying to figure out how to cover up my hurt. I relived the board meeting where parents were mad that I was chosen for the gifted program over their kids and thru about accusations of racist nature.


So because of this dream and because certain people were called by name I looked them up on internet. I found two bios. My counselor was during grade school a grad student who mentored me for 2 yrs during a study. She was then brought back to run a gifted student program ( Myself and S. and the vietnamese girl were the first selected.) My counselor's bio said that during those mentoring years she was doing a study on the status of ethnic studies grades K-6. I knew she used me as part of her study but this was seperate from the gfted program I did not know what the study was. I found the bio of S. She is a doctor of psychology her area of special research is ethnic relations, prejudice and stereotyping with regards to the status of self worth of both target and receiver. Hmmmmmmm.

I found it amazing that the incidents being portrayed in my dream along with the repression and emotions related to precisely the same issues that my gifted teacher and my friend are involved in. I looked at the picture of S. in her bio and I can see the 3rd eye birthmark and same exact smile I saw from my dream.

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My last 3 Liver Cleanses specifically have released a lot of emotional stuff I can say that with surety. Each of the last3 flushes I have dreams that regress me further back in childhood and I am astonished because I recall some childhood issues that were repressed. I remember the issues of origin and recall how I felt but in addition I realize how it affected me today.

During my 13th (or so)flush 2 nights ago. I had one of many recurring dreams over several months. Very quick and brief little detail. All my schoolmates are watching me and another girl in school settings like playground, class, field trips etc.. Me and this girl are the main characters. We feel kinship with each other yet do not talk or communicate much we feel as if everyone knows we are different like we have a mark on us and people are staring or taking too much notice of us. We feel as if on stage performing to everyones whim. We are unsure and wondering why they see us as different. I see and hear the cruel thoughts and actions especially the nonverbal ones they did not vocalize in front of me because I was one of the biggest kids in my class. I also feel the same perspective of my partner she is always the same girl and she is always called by name. She was middle eastern and had a distinguishing birthmark in her 3rd eye region.

Last nights dream had everyone from my grade school on a several day camping trip we took in 6th grade. We are sitting at the same picnic tables that were actually there. The only boy that I did not know stood up from amidst the others as if he was putting a stop to me and the girl being on parade. I said "who are you" he said "it is not important". I felt he was a guide and I perceived the name John attached to him. Everyone else was frozen in time except me, girl and guide john. He told me "You need to stand up and come sit next to... and then SHOUTED the girls name.... which triggered recall of all the other times she had been called in my previous dreams as If I should not miss IT this time. I looked and realized that there were always empty spaces around her where she sat ( even though the kids were sociable to her in conversation) Another girl a vietamese friend was now by my side as was counselor and mentor from that period they were smiling at us.

SO after this dream I realized I felt relief. I realized that part of my life was in reaction to some childhood issues, perceptions and self worth issues related to racism, prejudice and stereotypes. I recalled the extreme hurt and embarassment I experienced at that same picnic table on the 6th grade field trip. I always recall the hurt and the issue that spurred it but the exact table where i sat in despair trying to figure out how to cover up my hurt. I relived the board meeting where I was playing the zylophone with my dutch friend in the gym while the parents argued over the selections for the gifted programs (the first 3 selected were ethnic and I recalled the aghast look when they met the smart kid with his own psychologist. I recall them yanking her away and I heard the parents shouting in the board meeting because I was chosen for the program perhaps because they felt sorry for me.


So Yesterday because certain people were called by name I looked them up on internet. I found two bios. My counselor was a grad student who mentored me for 2 yrs during a study. She was then brought back to run a gifted student program ( Myself and the 2 ethnic girls were the first selected.) so parents probably thought it had something to do with her study mentioned below. Her bio said that during those mentoring years she was doing a study on the status of ethnic studies grades K-6. I knew she used me as part of her study but I did not know what the study was. I found the bio of my middle eastern friend she is a doctor of psychology her area of special research is ethnic relations, prejudice and stereotyping with regards to the status of self worth of both target and receiver. Hmmmmmmm.

I found it amazing that the incidents being portrayed in my dream along with the repression and emotions related to precisely the same issues that my gifted teacher and my friend are involved in. I looked at the picture in the psychologist girls bio and I can see the 3rd eye birthmark and same exact smile I saw from my dream.

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