I feel like I have lead others astray by giving advice on this forum and if I made anyone ill or die I am so sorry.

I have tried so hard to get well and have tried so many things. almost every kind of suppliment and alternative therapy and even the flushs, but I am still sick and weak and tired and I don't want to go on this way.

I will read something in a book or on the net or here on one of these forums and think that's it! And I try it and tell everyone I know about whatever, and sometimes post here about it or try to offer some little piece of probably useless advice. Anyway, I have had my confidence quite shooken up. I tried the cleanses and got weaker and sicker and lost a bunch of weight. I am a respectable weight now after stopping the cleanses (and 1 1/2 years of healing from them) that pretty near killed me! I have most recently tried colonics and they tried to kill me as well, but I quit doing them, once I realized that I was going down that loosing weight and getting weaker not stronger road again.

Why oh why am I not like all those soles on this forum that do some or many flushes and feel so much better?

Both times, after the colon cleansing and the colonic series, I thought, oh this is good, I am passing interesting things but
on further thought, I am convinced I was passing me, or my colon lining that is. Maybe I am wrong. I often am wrong. Most of you probably have stoped reading my posts by now cause I don't make any sense and my advice is probably questionable at best. If I knew anything I would be better by now. I even started to post under a different name (ame) for a bit cause I did not think anyone would listen to me anymore under my real name.

Oh, I am probably going to get back to feeling like I did before the colonics in the next month or 2 or 3. It has been about a month since the last one and my bowel movements are beginning to not be hard little rocks, but all is not normal in that area of the world for me now. I hate it. I was doing so much better than back in the middle of 2001. I am very tired and cold all the time now. I have constipation that did not exist before the colonics. I don't enjoy food anymore. I am discouraged and probably getting depressed. I have taken to wearing a hat to bed since I can't really feel my toes all that much now (since the colonics). I do wear socks too, but one has to have some warmth in the feet to warm up the socks for that to work! It was 80 today in the house and I was shivering. I am only 41 and I don't feel I have long for this world. I mean, I can go on a long time like this but, one should not feel 82 when only 41. You here so many good things about colonics. I don't ever seem to fit the mold. Stuff that works for everyone else never seems to work for me. If a drug is supposed to cause sleepiness, it will make me hyper. I react badly to all drugs, suppliments alternative therapies, counseling, whatever. It seems doing nothing works better for me than anything.

On a more possitve note, my diet of the last 1 1/2 year of only whole foods and taking no over the counter medication seems to help, however so very slowly. I know I am whinning, but I am so good at it!

I also do know that my 2 remaining prescription drugs, that I am taking, are keeping me sick. And the addictive qualities of both of them make the withdrawal process so painfully slow. I have often wanted to write to the pharamacy companies that make these dangerous drugs and tell them what they are doing to me and ask how do I get off these drugs. I bet they know but they are keeping it a secret, cause if anyone could get off easily, where's the money in that?

Mary Tweet