Always makes me laugh
A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As
she lay her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope
and listened to the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet
shook his head sadly and said, "I'm so sorry, your pet has passed
The distressed owner wailed, "Are you sure?" "Yes, I'm sure. The
duck is dead," he replied. "How can you be so sure," she
protested. "I mean, you haven't done any testing on him or
anything. He might just be in a coma or something."
The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room. He
returned a few moments later with a black Labrador Retriever. As
the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his
hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and
sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked at the vet
with sad eyes and shook his head.
The vet patted the dog and took it out and returned a few moments
later with a beautiful cat. The cat jumped up on the table and
also sniffed the bird from its beak to its tail and back again.
The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly,
jumped down and strolled out of the room.
The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said,
this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."
Then the vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys, and
produced a bill, which he handed to the woman. The duck's owner,
still in shock, took the bill. "$150!" She cried. $150 just to
tell me my duck is dead?!!"
The vet shrugged and explained, "I'm sorry. If you'd taken my
word for it, the bill would have been $20. But what with the Lab
Report and the Cat Scan, it all adds up."