Has this article "Sexuality" by Dr.Shluze been removed? Where can I read it?
I am very, very moved by both your personal stories and for Tom's perspective as well (Southern Belle you are a beautiful, beautiful soul! Thank you for sharing your relationship/marriage experience).
You are much too hard on yourself about the baggage... infidelity is not love - anything that is not love is suffering. Something I personally benefit from when I feel anything that is not Love is meditation - it is a wonderful self-accepting process for clearing "old stuff" and creating inner peace instead of suffering at any moment (if you are open to it).