Am I addicted?

I have been on Ativan for approx. 3 years on a lost dose, initially 3 mgs a day for approx. 2 years, then lowered it myself to about 1.25 mg a day for about a year. Now I only take it when I absolutely can't stand the anxiety, approx. every other day. Now I haven't been on it for 4 days, and I am about to jump out of my skin, am severely depressed, want to die, don't see any purpose in living. Is it possible to be addicted to such a low dose? The doctor said it was a harmless dose. I just can't take it anymore. What is withdrawal like? Could I be going through it? If so, how long does it last? I'm terrified. I'm scared that if it isn't withdrawal that I will feel like this the rest of my life, and if that's so it isn't worth living. Tweet