There's no cure for me

I've had candida for four years and there doesn't seem to be a light at the end of the tunnel. Killing the candida and replenishing my gut with good bacteria is the goal, right? Well, that's an impossibility because I can't ever seem to kill the candida all the way because I DO have to eat and everything, feeds that horrible, disgusting, vile beast. And, I've had no luck trying to implant good bacteria because all the antifungals I take kill the good bacteria along with the yeast. I'm in an endless cycle of killing the yeast, trying to reimplant good bacteria, eating (thus feeding the yeast again), taking probiotics to kill the yeast and again killing whatever good bacteria I just implanted into my colon. This cycle is endless and I'm just tired of it. There doesn't seem to be an answer to this and I'm at the end of my rope. I've considered suicide. What's the point of living if my quality of life is so disrupted by this freaking monster? I'm tired of researching and digging for answers that aren't there. Tweet