This is a long post so please bear with me, and please respond if you have some ideas for me. I am trying to be really thorough about how I feel and what my motivations were for this cleanse, so you can understand my context. I don't think I can continue this cleanse anymore. I have no life outside of shopping for food, preparing food and cleaning up my kitchen anymore.
Also, I am hooped when I go to my evening classes since there is nowhere I can prepare my food- so I try looking for something half-decent and healthy to buy out, but it always contains something forbidden- dairy, wheat, sugar, too many carbs, no balance of vegetables, blah blah blah. So now matter how hard I try, I end up being forced to cheat. The first week I started the cleanse, I skipped both classes to set myself up right.
Then is the fact that I have had maybe 4 bowel movements since I started the cleanse 10 days ago. I'm eating lots of veggies and leafy greens, using a teaspoon of olive or hemp oil with every meal, taking probiotics prior to every meal, and I'm even taking PB shakes in the evening to bulk up my fibre intake (which I will probably increase to two per day very soon), I drink about 3L or more of water a day, and still there is practically nothing leaving my body. At least with my old 'unhealthy' diet I could have oatmeal made with soy milk every morning and fruit with lots of fibre to keep me regular.
I'm not even positive I actual have an acute candida problem- all I know is I decided to do this regimen because I had been on Antibiotics for an extended period of time- even though as soon as I finished my last prescription I was taking BioK acidophilous for 7 days on top of the probiotics before every meal. I was also having lovely fruit and hemp protein shakes twice a day after I finished the prescription and I was so nice and regular and happy... Also, it CAN'T be good for me eating an egg every morning- you're only supposed to have one or two a week- I've never eaten so much meat in my life (including fish)! Normally I have about 4 or 5 totally vegan meals a week using things like beans or legumes for the protein aspect and would ensure I was getting enough protein and calcium by having an organic yoghurt sweetened only with concentrated fruit juices, no sugar. Now, even more than before I'm tired all the time, I don't want to get out of bed, and the idea of doing good bouts of excercise like my hour power-walks or ashtanga yoga classes totally exhausts me- never mind actually trying them... As for spending even more time fussing over myself with enemas and so on, I am not able to afford either in time or money all this equipment and so on that seems to be necessary. Why on earth should my entire life be based around my diet and elimination processes?! I have other interests and this intense navel-gazing is driving me nuts. I would rather be writing, studying, doing yoga, meditating, etc. but instead I'm always in the damn kitchen!
So what do you all think about my previous diet? I was caffeine free, relatively wheat free, practically Sugar free and practically dairy free. I ate lots of fresh vegetables, a decent amount of fruit, only whole grains, legumes, wild fish and organic chicken and yoghurt and hemp protein, olive oil or hemp oil or avocado for fats... And if I stop the cleanse, it's not like I'm going to start eating Sugar and caffeine and so on- I already know what my standards are for a healthy diet...
If this cleanse is 'better' for me, why am is my body shutting down while on it? Perhaps this regimen really isn't suited to my health needs? Are there other viable alternatives? The only other idea I have is to simply wait until my classes are finished in a couple of weeks and try the whole shebang again- but this time figure out a way to stay regular while on the diet because that's what's concerning me most...
Thank you so much for your patience, ideas and support. I do appreciate it.