what is an atheist?

I'm curious, does that mean (in your view) that you don't believe in god in any form or that you don't believe in the bible's (christian) explanation of god?

I have formed my own set of beliefs after much study and research. My mother had some sort of breakdown during my puberty/formative years (7th grade to SR. year in high school) and became fanatically religious attending a nazarene church at least 3 times a week and forcing my brother and I to go with her.

I rebelled and got nowhere but grounded and then decided "if you can't beat em, join em" so I took membership classes which involved actually reading the bible. Being of moderate intelligence, and old enough to form my own opinions about things, I immediately began to notice discrepancies and outright contradictions.

I decided to do some of my own research to see why nazarenes were so RIGHT and everyone else was so WRONG! and what I found was that I didn't think any of them were wrong. I think they've all pretty much got the right idea - live a good life, something you can be proud of, follow some basic moral laws of nature, treat others as you'd like to be treated - and your soul will be free when you die.

But I do really feel that there is a force, a divinity, a spiritual beauty in all living things that vibrates with power. I think that is "god". Somehow I've come to the conclusion that I believe in god and reincarnation and spiritual enlightenment and ESP and psychic powers and out of body travel etc, etc.

There is no religion out there that embraces and accepts all these things as possible and natural. I think they're all right - christianity, buddhism, islam, even wicca - there are things about each I don't like, but basically I won't call any of them WRONG. Maybe I'm just too middle-of-the-road. But that's what I really feel.

So, I don't know what to call myself - up until now I've called myself a spiritualist because atheist just has such negative, combative connotations. Anybody else have input on this?
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