Joanne you are right! First off I did not plan on starting a new relationship. We became friends and over time got closer un-expectantly. I have become friends with others in the past but this friendship is very different. Since I wrote my first message we discussed sex and both of us agree that sex should not be part of this relationship. We most certainly can enjoy the support and friendship that we share but anything more than that will only cause more pain! I do not need to add more problems to what I already have!
Others in here have torn me apart over this friendship yet they did not look at the root of the problem which is the unjust abuse my wife has inflicted on my children and myself. I had known that I couldn’t stay in this marriage long before I met this other person. I feel that what ever I say here someone will turn my intent into some evilness. And I find it very discouraging to see how people here reacted to my initial message. Do not think that this friend has caused my wife’s abuse she has been this way for along time, much longer than I have known this friend.
Regarding my marriage I have been looking at what has happened and know that change is best for all of us. I have worked hard for years to resolve this conflict and have learned of many mistakes that I have made. I went to our church and asked our pastor to help us and the church has spent ten years working with us attempting to help us through prayer and counseling. I have changed a-lot however my wife has not. I have accepted blame for my mistakes and poor judgment yet my wife will not accept blame for her mistakes.
I have been teaching my children that what they see at home is not appropriate behavior. I have also taught them that they must respect their mother even if they do not like what they see at home. Two months ago I got my children into family counseling and I now see how much they hurt from my wife’s abuse. I had become subservient and I did all I could to avoid my wife’s aggressiveness. I am now in individual counseling for myself I will take whatever steps are necessary to change things. Thank you Joanne for caring.