Sir, it seems to me you want permission to do this, you won't get this from anyone but your self.Your children are more aware than you think!They are also hurting and probably confused just like you.I say get out first, then do as you wish, I myself stayed in an abusive mariage for 25 years, and I hurt my sons terribly, they are both now older, one is 36 the other 23, they both are better off after seeing me happy and on my own, having a man friend from time to time . Are you a God fearing man? I think the answers are with in you !Also put yourself in your wife's place, what would you think if she did this?
Please feel free to reply.