Re: Is this normal behavior at AA?

Hi, I don't think you are going to like my answer, but I believe it will work. The reason they do this, is because they "owned" you on the first meeting. You can still change it though. Next meeting, when they come to touch you, be prepared. And what you need to do is called "Italian Hands." It's a self defense tactic, where you put your hands up palms facing toward them as if you are "talking with your hands." An Italian stereotype (no offense attended to anyone, I am part Italian myself).

So they come up to you and you put up your Italian hands, and say that's it ladies, if you touch me again, I will have to physically stop you. Polite, firm, but no direct threats like "kick your ass, etc." It might be best if you have a girlfriend (or trusted guy) waiting in the hallway for support. Also, have your Cell Phone recording discretely, and if you bring friend have them record everything.

Anyway, if they try to move against the Italian hands, you grab their wrist firmly and DO NOT let them out. Then tell them you must cease and desist now! Use those words. Squeeze the wrists to hurt until you see fear, then make eye contact, and your eyes should look like you want to tear them apart- and say "are you finished?" BEFORE letting them off. If stuff gets weird, you go back to the court or whomever is watching your dui case and ask to be assigned to a new AA group to finish out your requirement. Tell them your breasts were groped. Start MAKING TROUBLE.

Also, do not wear a skirt and strappy heels or such. Wear something athletic or yoga like, sneakers are best. If you must wear dressy stuff wear pants with wedges no higher than 2 inches, and no stilettos. You need to have confidence and balance. If you can do tough, wear jeans and motorcycle boots. I'm not kidding. Also, wear a sports bra underneath.

You need to take charge of this. If you are granted a new AA group, male or female counselor, you tell them why you changed group so everyone knows you're done putting up with it. It seems you may be better with a coed group, even though you'll get the advances and phone numbers from men. You can always have a piece of paper with this link "curezone.org 2407081" without quotes will take you here easy.

Hope this helps, please followup after each meeting with these people.

There's no excuse for their behavior, and don't feel guilty if you get the counselor fired. She basically "green lighted" Ms. Ginger and any others who abused you there. And yes, it is abuse.

At a minimum, there's an android app called "Background Video Recorder" Practice how to use it, record buying a coffee at Starbucks etc. just for practice sake then delete it after you get feedback on how to use the app, and get peoples faces or voice. You should at least record these abuse sessions if you decide the tactical route is not for you. If you are sketchy about the tactical route try printing what I wrote and bring it to a martial arts instructor (like a local Karate dojo, near you). They should be glad to help, and modify what I wrote as I am not an expert.

You might also want to join, and learn tough face, and polite yet firm things to say. Like some btch says, hey can I grab you breasts? and you say, "I'm up for promotion to brown belt, and I sure need the practice. Go ahead try it." then make your board crushing fist.

Get tough!

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