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body odor, depression, anxiety and self harm
smellychica Views: 2,025
Published: 6 years ago

body odor, depression, anxiety and self harm

Hi, I'm sorry for any grammar errors, english isn't my first language. Female, 21. I dont know if this is the best place to post this but I've been dealing with Body Odor (underarms and now groin are as well) since I was 13 at 10th grade. My schoolmates bullied me, I was known as the stinky chica at my school, I was lucky I got a 4.0 gpa and was shy and they weren't "so" cruel with me. I thought it was a 1 day issue but it never dissapeared since that moment. I first tried lemon, baking soda, magnesium milk. At 16-18 I went to 4 different doctors I don't have much money. They prescribed me deos and soaps but nothing worked. I don't even have my moms support she judges me instead, people bully me verywhere and make gestures like coughing, sneezing etc. I started college at 16 (I study psychology) I haven't finished because I dropped all of the classes out and only stayed in one every semester. I'm now taking solarize activated charcoal and kal acidophilus, but I haven't seen any improvement. Yesterday I smelled terrible at class and tomorrow I have another class and I'm ashamed to go :( Don't know what to do, I cut myself on the soles of my foot so no1 would notice I take it as a way to relieve all the pressure I feel when people harass me and treat me bad and feel powerless with no hope. This man likes me I dont like him back but I'm afraid he'll hate me bc of the odor I think he already smelled me, he's a good friend and I don't want him to hate me :( I need counseling, what can I do? I wanna drop out college now but I'm a good student my gpa fell at 3.7 but is still ok and I'm so in love with psychology and don't want to leave it. And I got a lot of aspirations :( But I'm embarrased, and being a woman the bullying is worse because Body Odor is often related to man principally. My mom doesn't understand me she treats me bad as well. I'm desperate and hopeless. I haven't lived my life because of this, I have never kissed or have a boyfriends, I don't have friends. People were mercyless with me when I was a kid but imagine now that I'm an adult they're worse. I remember back in high school there was this boy that lifted my armpit and said "she fckng smells haha" my two friends were clearly uncomfortable and told him to shut up. I stayed quiet, because it was true. I truly smelled bad and I couldn't defend myself. Other terrible experience was when I went to the doctor with my sis, and there was this woman speaking normally with but when I take a look at her phone she was writing to someone "I got a headache and this btch by my side fckng smells" I wanted to die when I saw that. I know have been strong. I can have a bad day at college with my odor and then next day I could go back and act like it never happened. I tried lemon, soda, milk of magnesium, acv, hydrogen peroxyde, alcohol, hand soap, I wash my clothes by hand 3 times than I soak them with hot water. Besides the charcoal and probiotic, I'm using a 1 dollar deodorant with baking soda, coconut oil and the white flour of corn. It worked for a week but it doesn't work anymore, and being a student at uni I don't have lots of money. I really don't know what to do anymore I pray and I see no answers :(

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