You might have genetic tendencies that make it difficult for your metabolism to respond "normally," according to what might be considered usual for a young man. I wouldn't be surprised, though, if you were to scratch below the surface of your friends' health, they might have issues that just aren't as obvious as yours.
The group does not support use of DHEA, unfortunately. I disagree with that, as my husband has benefitted tremendously from time-release DHEA 60 mg. It might be a weak spot for you. DHEA helps metabolize hormones downstream of it, such as testosterone.
Here's an interesting article with a diagram of hormonal pathways. It reminds me that one of the most simple things you could start with would be to drink salted water, using unprocessed salt. Perhaps about 1/2 tsp salt with 2-3 quarts of water daily. Being hydrated can be a lovely wakeup call to your body, and salt is necessary for your adrenals to function.