PP7, this is the last message that I will direct specifically to you.
I started the NPD forum for the purpose of support, education, and discussion, years ago. I've also been involved with recovery and support groups, in real life, for many, many years - for longer than you've probably been on this planet.
If you did not get what you expected on this forum, then move on. I do not pander to armchair psychologists and people who play musical chairs with their status. From terrified and abused victim, to venerably healed, to "righteously" outraged, to judge-and-jury, to wounded martyr, you have played each of these roles in this single thread - a forum to which you are absolutely new and thought you'd come into like a steam-roller. Well, the onus is upon your shoulders, my dear, because you didn't take the time to consider your own "online" behavior before you tried to use this venue as your personal latrine. If you want to vent, rant, rave, you can author your own bLog on this website and actually control the responses to your posts. Otherwise, this isn't your sandbox and you don't write the rules............"hon."
If calling a spade what it is can be construed as "taking (your) inventory," then so be it. You're looking for a "safe" and anonymous place to act out your various roles, and I will give no further time to any of the characters in your Machiavellian drama/trauma. So you clearly understand, I deleted my own message, not the Moderator. If you read my message before it was deleted, then you are more of a drama-queen than you've already revealed yourself to be as I was "sharing" a commonly-used technique for managing anxiety - a technique that you would be familiar with if you actually are involved in counseling therapy and your counselor is as "GOOD" as you claim them to be.
Continue posting, continue ranting, continue your drama/trauma, or not - there are literally hundreds of other sites, online, that will actually enable this type petulant passive/aggressive behavior. Whatever you choose to do, PP7, I refuse to enable your drama-thon. Finis
I will respectfully request that the Moderator of this forum move this entire thread to Personal Conflicts or Fight Club.