PP7, LOLOLOL!!!! I am neither your peer, nor are you conversing, and you are absolutely road-rash raw if any part of your story is actually true - you chose to post on this site to pick a fight, for whatever reason.
Perhaps, you feel as if you cannot "win" in any other venue than an online anonymous site. I don't know, nor do I care, because I've "seen" this type of online behavior come and go on this site for many years............"hon."
Didn't ask how you felt? Your anger, fear, anxiety, and rage were quite clear in your posts. If you don't believe that it's necessary to make it perfectly clear on an online support forum (NO vocal inflections, NO body language) that you are just venting and desire no response, then whatever discomfort you feel from any response is your own problem. You own it.............."hon."
As for attempting to use 12-Step support group phrases to rationalize and justify your online rage and rant, nice........but, over 30 years in 12-Step programs gives me a little insight into who might be in recovery and who might just be talking the talk, and sitting on their asses inventing new and more creative ways to act-out when they aren't making noise. Someone who is in healthy recovery would clearly recognize commiseration, compassion, and a desire to support from another person and accept it as just that. You came online to this site for the sole purpose of picking a fight, not to tell your story......."hon."